Whiplash’s favorite little quips of 2005

Ok, there were so many but I narrowed it down to two...


Folsom Street Fair Monday

Woods and I are walking down Market Street back to the Renoir Hotel from the Fossil shop. As we move through the very busy sidewalk, we pass a strip club. In the front of the somewhat seedy establishment there was a stripper covered in a huge Parka sporting, what looked like, a new weave which was hella cute and some fucking awesome hooker heels. She was standing with the bouncer just chit chatting and shooting the shit. As we passed, this is what happened...

Stripper: No good looking men ever come in here...

Stripper looks at Woods and I

Stripper: See... why are all of the cute ones gay?

Woods and I chuckle as some random hetero dude walking next to us responds...

Random Straight Dude: Hey, I’m cute!

Stripper looks at Random Straight Dude in disgust

Stripper: No, honey, you ain’t.

Everyone around and in front of the strip club howls with laughter while Random Straight Dude continues to walk, from that point on, with his head down.


A random Saturday night in December

Timofy, Woods and I met up with Miss A, Ay and Ty at Hot Dog in West Hollywood. Woods and I arm ourselves with the digital camera for the night so we can capture every single shred of the delicious fun. As Timofy approaches the stage to slide a dollar bill down the g-string of an all-tit-out female go-go dancer, this is what happened...

*snap*

Whip takes a picture of Timofy inserting the bill into the g of the unnamed Go-Go Dancer

Go-Go Dancer leans over to Whip and puts her mouth close to his ear

Go-Go Dancer: Please erase any pictures of me!!!

Whip: Huh?!

Go-Go Dancer pulls back and resumes the slithering of her body on the platform

Miss A walks over to Whip

Miss A: What did she say to you?!

Whip: She wanted me to delete all of the pictures I had of her.

Miss A pauses for a moment to look at the Go-Go Dancer, then responds to Whip...

Miss A: Probably because of that cottage cheese!

Obviously referring to her not so worked out thighs... Cottage Cheese is born!