Please note that before you start reading this, this is about a “friend”, not a “special friend”. I usually don’t hang out with anyone I consider a “special friend” outside of our trysts – and that is not on my part, it’s usually on theirs. I let them know that I am always willing to hang out and catch a movie, coffee, whatever. Some gay men don’t like mixing tricking with a friendship. It’s much easier to fuck, then to hang out and talk.
Prior to my San Fran trip, I received an e-mail from a “friend” asking why we haven’t hung out. The tone at the beginning of the e-mail was very upbeat and cheerful with a hint of eagerness to see me again due to the fact that it had been months since we saw each other last. Of course by reading this e-mail, I got the impression that this person was trying to reconnect with me after the Timofy separation. As I read on, I started to get really excited because I did enjoy hanging out with this person and would very much have liked to again. But within a matter of seconds, the upbeat, cheerful and eager demeanor turned into a “kill them with kindness” nastiness that soon enraged me. This person blamed me for not contacting them before their e-mail, for not making the effort to make plans with them, or even call them to see how they are doing – which was all complete bullshit. This person had flaked on me numerous times within the past seven months and never returned any of my phone messages.
After reading the e-mail a few times, I calmed down. I replied to them without any suggestion that I would be contacting them in the future to hang out. If they want to hang out with someone, they can continue to party with Timofy. I’m sure it’s not a big issue for them to see me, because it if was they wouldn’t have flaked me so much. Besides, they got the sweet end of the deal since Timofy is the more outgoing one of us. And since I'm never really in town that often according to this person, "you're in LA too much!", how could I hang out with them, right?
One of the reasons why their e-mail pissed me off so much was about a month or so ago I planned a night out with a bunch of “friends”. I sent out an e-mail to a few people detailing the evening’s plans hoping to peak their interest. This person in particular replied to me via e-mail confirming their attendance – “oh yea, I’m so there, count me in”. But when the day came around, I got an e-mail that afternoon from this "friend" asking me “what are you doing tonight?”, as well as including their plans for that evening which was to “stay home with _______” to watch movies and such. Did they not realize that they had made plans with me earlier that week? Needless to say, this was that last time I had invited this person to anything.
The point of this rant was to get out my bitterness before it got the best of me. I will and do not make plans to go out with people who continue to flake on me. So if you are wondering why you haven’t received any e-mails from me asking to go out and paint the town red, please refer to this blog for the explanation.
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