Relaxation beckons

I have returned from another joyous weekend in LA. I finally got to spend some much needed time with my “Grace” – the one and only Burchie. She was visiting Cali all the way from Mass so she could get acquainted with the West Coast way of life since she will be moving here in August. It’s kind of funny how ever since I announced my plans to move up to LA that someone I love dearly decided to relocate to the same city I’m escaping. Oh well, at least I will only be a two hour drive away. Well, three hours during rush hour.

With her in town, I thought it would be a good time to show her my local haunts in LA. I had a great time attempting to mentally scar her with all of the shit I get into now. See, the last time I saw her was at her wedding numerous years ago. I thought it might be a bit of a culture shock considering that my life is surrounded by sex and trannies. Lucky for me, homegirl went into it with an open mind and came out having a blast. I am truly grateful to have a friend like that. I cannot wait for her ass to get out here so I can continue to expose her to some more wild shenanigans.

In a whip styled nutshell, here is how the weekend went...

Burchie finally met Woods.
Burchie purchased beverages at evil Starbucks. On discount.
Burchie shopped.
Burchie laughed at Lisa Lampanelli.
Burchie took in a Big Fat Dick.
Burchie ached looking at number 4.
Burchie met Tony.
Burchie became intoxicated.
Burchie got her boob licked.
Burchie stood in line with men to use the women’s restroom.
Burchie eyes were chock full of gay sleaze.
Burchie ate at Los Tacos.
Burchie purchased beverages at evil Starbucks. On discount.
Burchie strolled Venice.
Burchie lounged around Santa Monica.
Burchie wouldn’t shut the fuck up about Whip being “obnoxious”.
Burchie became mesmerized by Fade-Dra’s pink bush.
Burchie got towered by Squeaky.
Burchie ate Thai.
Burchie cringed at the drunken karaoke hopefuls.
Burchie tried to buy a hat like Whip’s.
Burchie loved Target.
Burchie feasted her eyes on "Adam & Steve".
Burchie got faux fucked.
Burchie had a Hot Dog.
Burchie didn’t want to feel like a whore.
Burchie grabbed a “handful” of Tim – the go-go dancer.
Burchie felt dirty.
Burchie danced.
Burchie got kissed.
Burchie ate at Los Tacos. Again.
Burchie read.
Burchie purchased beverages at evil Starbucks. On discount.
Burchie worked Hollywood Boulevard with her pimp Whip.
Burchie went to “Church”.
Burchie worried about getting to the airport late.
Burchie complained about the airport arrival time, even tho Whip got her there on time.

And last but not least,

Burchie hated Whip’s following nursery rhyme:

There once was a girl from Mass
Who refused to take it up her ass
She didn’t want to make a big raucous
Because her fag friend is obnoxious