The Bulgarian

The Bulgarian has been lodging at Casa Norte for what feels like a few years, but in reality it has only been a few weeks. I feel I have no real place to rant because it isn’t my house, but since I’m a fag it’s in my nature to be a total cunt.

I have listed all of the things that have either begun to annoy me or sent me right through the roof:

1. He doesn’t lock the front door. Hell, he doesn’t lock any of the doors for that matter. The first few times I let it go. After the fourth time, I had to step up and tell him “Hey, remember to lock the front door”. After the ninth time, I had to turn the notch to fag bitch mode (with a side of playfulness, mind you) – “I’m going to kick your ass if you don’t lock the door… remember to lock the door please” --- chuckle, chuckle, chuckle. After the fourteenth time, I had to tell him sternly “lock the door”. Woods mentioned to me that the other day he started to talk to The Bulgarian about something that was totally not about the lockage of the door when The Bulgarian harshly responded “I know, I know, lock the door”. In my opinion, if you are a guest for longer than you have to be at someone’s place of residence you have no right to be all dour with the owner. Otherwise, your ass will be on the street without a door to lock.

2. He has been quite a hit with the A4A/Hillcrest crowd as of late. If he isn’t at work, he’s in the dining room on his laptop chatting, searching, trolling, whatever. Just about every evening that I’ve come home, he has been outside in front of the house with someone new (either talking to them on the street, chatting with them through the passenger side window of their car, or sitting in their car doing whatever). He has also had visitors inside the house watching movies and/or blabbing on the couch with him. Now at the beginning of his stay Woods and I made it clear that it wasn’t an issue to have people in the house. Not realizing that he would take it to this level, I have found it to be a problem as there is someone new and unfamiliar in the house almost every day/night.

3. Before I even list this one, I want to disclose that I am not the cleanest person in the world due to that fact that I have my junk scattered all over CN. With that being said, The Bulgarian has proven to be a pig. Maybe that was a bit over the top; let’s say that he is messy. He usually leaves his clothes lying all over the house, or forgets to place food back into the fridge, or does not wipe up the splashed water around the sink. I know Woods addressed these issues with him, but I have yet to see any type of change.

4. Far too needy. To his defense, he is only twenty-three years old. And I know that is no excuse for him to be so latching, but I know how I was when I was his age – I was still trying to figure out who I was. His needy-ness reminds me very much of Jesus Girl’s lack of any ability to be alone. She always had to be with someone, or be around someone, otherwise it would make her mental. Seriously. And this is how The Bulgarian is. Well, that is how I view him while living under the roof at CN. If he is not on the phone yapping, he has to have someone next to him (see number 2). I felt bad for Timofy, as it was a nice meeting for both of them initially, but The Bulgarian gets all nutzoid when he can’t reach him via cell. Does The Bulgarian not realize that people work or are busy with their lives?! Someone needs to buy a clue.

5. Watching my DVDs. I honestly don’t mind him watching my movies. That is why I bought them so they could be viewed over and over again. But he uses them and doesn’t put the DVD back into the case, or he leaves them out gathering dust, or opens up a sealed movie without my permission. Does he know for a fact that I am going to keep that movie? Does he know for a fact that that isn’t a present for someone? No, he doesn’t. I know I’m sounding crazy, but newsflash: I am crazy.

5. Due to his excessive smoking, there are cigarette butts all over the front yard. The front yard made not be all glamorous but that does not give anyone the right to discard the remaining portions of their cancer sticks on the premises. Woods asked him to clean it up. We are waiting to see if this actually goes through with it.

6. Cologne. The Bulgarian practically bathes in it. There is so much of it that my eyes water when he walks by. He believes that cologne will cover up the fact that he smells like cigarettes – which is soooo not the case. Both smells are very strong, and very non-cute.