Coulrophobia

So how did Halloween 2006 go? Well…

Lady E literally “wow’d” every hetero male in sight. Come to think about it, she wow’d every male regardless of sexuality.

Woods scared the shit out of everyone within a 100 mile radius that suffered from a fear of clowns. Personally I thought it was anything but nightmare inducing considering that he originally sought out some really frightening looking teeth which were unattainable. On the bright side, he got offered a role in the next clown fuckfest thanks to some random cigarette smoking porn starlet.

And I offended every Hispanic thug all up and down the strip. Why you may ask? Well the answer is simple – gun totting Latino gang bangers believe in Jesus, that’s why. I threw out my idea of donning the Rosas Lady garb and headed straight for shockville with Tranny Christ (a/k/a Jesus Christ Tranny Hooker).

Oh, let me say that from the minute my heel hit Santa Monica Boulevard I was on the hunt for those right wing religious nuts who hang outside the festival spreading the gospel. I wanted to give them a dose of what I was hiding underneath my hose, but to my dismay they were no where to be found. Instead I got some immature teenaged Raiders fans shooting me dirty looks all night. Woods and Lady E got the full glimpse of all of the facial expressions as I was too high and mighty to give a flying fuck – high and mighty thanks to my gold spray painted Dyeables (thanks Woods! – I’ll eat your ass later for payment).

I really thought my gorgeous costume was unique and thought provoking. Most people had mistaken me for a female Jesus Christ. But hello, a female Jesus Christ wouldn’t be sporting a full on beard. Or would she? Hmmmm.

Anyhow, I had the wig down, the crown of thorns going on, the shoes in tact, the white robe/dress slammin’, the tetas protruding… in other words, the outfit was fucking hot. This was accentuated with gold frillies such as a bejeweled purse and two intertwined sashes in lieu of a brown rope belt. I added a red retro 1984 fishnet arm length glove to the mix, but I do have to say the cherry on the cake was the blood soaked gauze around my hands and ankles. This really pushed the outfit from almost cutesy to downright offensive.

Some mentioned I would be going to hell due to the choices I made for my Halloween apparel this year, but the jokes on them… I’ve been in hell for the past seven years. It’s called San Diego.