Happy SLAPsgiving

Thanksgiving 2006 was, well interesting… to say the least. I brought LadyE, Timofy and Woods with me to Tucson for the annual Turkey Day dinner at the Rivera’s house of choice – the typical location of my aunt’s casa over in Barrio Hollywood. Dinner was the usual casual feast of family gossip and whatnot. Things did heat up when I got into a verbal tangle with one of my aunts about the whereabouts of my sister Mandah and my new baby niece Alma. Luckily, the fire was put out before it was dowsed with emotional lighter fluid.

Post dinner activities included a stop at the very much missed Loft Cinemas to catch John Cameron Mitchell’s tour de force “Shortbus” – which is now one of my favorite movies of 2006, and of all time as well. The Loft Cinemas is this little indie movie house that is very chic, so chic that they even serve beer at the concession stand. Now that is classy!

We also stopped by the local gay dance club IBTs on the way back to my grandmother’s house (where we were all staying at) for a drink or four. We ran into one of my favorite queens in all of Tucson – the one and only Janee' Starr. She told us stories about Thanksgiving dinners and cock sucking. Those two subjects go hand in hand if you ask me.

Friday included a trip up to Phoenix to hang out with the Honey Caramel Nunie herself Sims who was visiting all the way from STL. I even got to catch up with my favorite sexy Scorpio StrawberryKrush who met up with us at Fat Tuesday on Mill Avenue in Tempe. I wasn’t surprised that we all ended the night at some random hetero bar in Scottsdale – even tho the intention was to end up at some Reggae club which was currently non-existent.

The later part of the evening, or early morning – depending on how you look at it, took us to Castle Boutique for some sex education. Castle Boutique is one of Phoenix top notch adult bookstores. I got a lesson from LadyE and Woods on what not to do in an adult bookstore… both of them were scolded by the shop’s employees not to “test out” the flogging materials. What the employee didn’t know was that Woods was going to purchase that piece of erotica for LadyE. Christmas came early for her – literally.

All that sex made us hungry, so we jumped ship for some food at IHOP where Timofy and Woods practically undressed the male waitresses with their eyes in hope of a tryst with one of them in the restroom. Of course this was not understood by StrawberryKrush who made it VERY clear that she didn’t speak Gaybonics.

Gaybonics – my new favorite word by the way.

Saturday night was, well, what I can say without sounding like a total cunt… fascinating. LadyE, Timofy, Woods and myself met up with Stella Virgin, Rog, and friends at the Venture Inn – which is a leather/levi bar in Tucson. While cocktails were drank, and the night progressed, a conversation was created around my life. At first, I found it to be quite eye opening, but soon I found it to be amusing, and by the end I decided to absorb it as constructive criticism.

I did find a couple of subjects and statements quite disturbing that they lingered with me for days after.

LadyE made it known to me that I never once expressed on what I was going to do once in LA. I know for a fact that I have talked about it quite often to numerous people including her in the past. But the majority of the time when we (her and I) do hang out and chat, it’s usually about certain sexual escapades mostly from her end, and her studious school life. She also brought up that I was going to be 30 the following weekend and I still hadn’t figured out what I was going to do with my life – this is where my mother’s raising techniques came into question. Of course, I got quite defense about this, because who is she to tell me how *I* should live *MY* life. Unfortunately, it seemed she didn’t understand that not all of us are the PhD pursuing type.

Stella informed me that it was very weird for her post Timofy/Whip breakup and she was closer to Timofy for some time. That was news to me. Sadly, this opened up a whole different can of worms that morphed into some weird loud talkage about how I fucked Timofy over in the breakup. “Ah yes, this old issue” I thought to myself once it was established that the rest of the gabfest would head this way. LadyE told me once again that she and Timofy had been brewing up ways to get rid of me (joking, but figuratively speaking) soon after it was announced that we went our different ways. She brought Woods into the picture as she sarcastically joked about offing him because Timofy was her friend – and she would do anything for him.

Of course, it was ALL my fault.

It was very clear to me that my friends had no idea what happened with Timofy and I. And that was because it was none of their damn business. I chose to keep my business private and not to talk about it amongst the friends that Timofy and I shared. He decided otherwise, and discussed it with them. So there was one side of the story that they were living off of. How sad really. I personally rarely make my decision on how I feel about someone’s personal matter until I get to exam both sides of the coin. I thought they were bigger than this, so I was quite upset – for a moment.

I was told at the end of this entire rap session that if I had included them in on the breakup and told my side of the story they would have seen it differently. Bullshit. They were going to believe Timofy no matter what. Since I supposedly left Timofy for Woods it made Timofy into a complete victim. And the “victim” always gets the sympathy. And what made matters worse at that time was how well Woods and I interacted with one another – since we always acted like giggling school girls.

There was one very cuntilicious thing I wished I could have said to them at the time which was “When you get through a six+ year relationship, then you can tell me how to handle this type of situation”. Of course, none of those perras have ever been in a six+ year relationship. But that is the way the cookie crumbles right? We always can give advice when we don’t know what the hell we are talking about. Typical.

Eventually the convo that night came to a screeching halt about 10 minutes to 2am. We downed our drinks so we could hop over Titopant’s pad for some post-bar after hours partying. It was nice to end the night at my brothers place watching Taco getting it on with Rog’s arm, and then running away from Janee' Starr who had turned into Cruella DeVil thanks to some Tequila. And to think that bitch works at Petco. Poor animals.