Jesus loves you, he’s not IN LOVE with you

I do have to say that the only time you will catch me on my knees in front of a white man flexing his abs while I worship his massive greatness will be at a sex club.

With that being said, you can safely say that I am no longer religious, and I haven’t been for some time now. My thoughts about becoming an atheist turned into reality a few months ago. I came to the conclusion that religion was another form of brain washing by doing some researching on the subject. I believe that Jesus Christ was an actual human being, but not a devout spirit the Christians make him out to be. If he did rise after death, then that would have made him a zombie. And so far, the only zombies I know of are in some of my favorite horror films.

My newly founded atheism prompted my decision to take on Jesus Christ Tranny Hooker (Tranny Christ) as my Halloween costume this year. I knew from the get-go that this would be very controversial. I was really shooting for camp, but ended up with a mockery of sorts – just like when you have a “sexy” Santa Claus or a “sexy” Mrs. Claus, I had a “sexy” Jesus Christ with boobs, and a cock – selling it for crack money.

One of my first concerns after confirming on this decadent outfit was fore-warning my very religious cousin Lari. I knew the Halloween pictures would end up on my myspace profile so I wanted to be respectful of her since she was currently placed in my Top 20, and vice versa. I sent her an e-mail informing her that I planned to do something very outrageous that she would, more than likely, find offensive. She replied to my warning by saying that she would not take me down. I sent her another e-mail that expanded on my initial message. She still did not take me down.

Halloween came and went. I officially placed a picture of Tranny Christ as my main photo on myspace. The picture showed Miss Christ posing on the crimson colored seated area of Ultra Suede falling backwards spread eagle with her legs up in the air while covering her mouth in an attempt to hide her pink Target purchased panties. The caption below stated “ToxicWaist presents Tranny Christ! (a/k/a Jesus Christ Tranny Hooker)”. I heard nothing from Lari.

And then on Sunday night, Lari calls me. I didn’t hear the phone ring so it dumps the call into voicemail, and she leaves me a message. I listen to the message with a bit of hesitation. From the start she is obviously extremely upset. She tells me that she has permanently taken me off her myspace Friends list – more so due to the fact that her students would see it (and that was her reason – which I could understand). She stressed how important Jesus was to her and seeing Tranny Christ really made her “sad”. The message continued for a few more seconds before she hung up with what sounded like her crying over some mumbled words.

I wasn’t surprised. And I wasn’t upset. I felt I gave her enough warning to avoid this kind of situation. I don’t think she realized that I would push the envelope as far as I did. I hope within time she can understand my point of view with religion and my decisions to offend through performance art. The only thing I don’t want her to do is “pray” for me. When someone “prays” for me makes me feel as if they are taking pity on me because I don’t follow their rules for a religious life. Jesus Girl tried this “prayer to save you” years ago, but Timofy & I basically put her in her place – so to speak.

As I look to the future, I see myself doing more provocative performance pieces not limited to just a religious aspect. I would like to get into issues such as race, celebrity personalities, and politics. I guess as I prepare for these types of bits I should invest in a bullet proof vest since people are so damn touchy these days. Cripes. Those people need to get laid.