Post-Pageant Madness

All hail the queen – Raya Light!

Yup, it’s official. That bitch won the 11th annual Miss Trannyshack Pageant. She rightfully snatched the winning title after an outstanding performance that was highly original, deeply mind fucking, and completely awe striking. It was definitely the talk of the evening. And I’m sure it will be the talk for years to come. I’m not saying all of this because Raya is a good friend of mine, but I am saying it because it was all of those things I described. And not to say the other “ladies” didn’t deserve it, but Raya DID “bring it”.

I did enjoy Poison Ivy’s number very much. I mean c’mon how could you not go wrong with seeing some old school 80’s freestyle with some sweet choreographed line up in the background. She had the crowd bumping and jumping. I also loved Holy McGrail’s hair rising selection that brought the true ghetto fabulousity all the way from Oakland. Nothing says ghetto like some gun shots post song. Genius.

Woods and I had access to the upper level since Raya got us to prance onstage in a black jockstrap, black rubber fisherman boots, a yellow rain hat, & dark lipstick during her swimsuit portion. We both decided it was better to stay in that get up than put back on our fashionable street clothes since it was so damn hot in the hall. And from what I could tell, the place was balls to the wall packed with a couple of thousand boozed up folk.

Backstage was a total hoot watching a very intoxicated Parker Posey pose for pictures with trannies, Lady Bunny fondling my package with her lady lumps, various San Francisco known homos trying to coyly stare at the front of my jockstrap, Alexis Arquette not being rude to BJ and Lady Miss Kier singing her way through the very congested hallway.

I do have to mention how small the dressing rooms were. Raya was sharing a space with Poison Ivy – not to mention the bar! While Woods and I were changing from our dressy Raya Light wear into our BIKE athletic supporters, a photographer was in there with us snapping pictures of our floppy body parts. Not that I am complaining since I am somewhat of an exhibitionist, but it was very hard to do all of that with 7 people in a room the size of a motel bathroom and various individuals coming in & out to freshen up their cocktails.

I do have to say that it was one of the best nights I have had in San Francisco. And I can thank Raya for including me (and BJ & Woods) in on all of it.