Counting the minutes

K.Sum said it best: “killing me softly”. She was referring to work. I had to agree with her. I’m stuck. I’m so uninspired. I’m feeling so cold and mentally frozen sitting on my blue chair, staring into a squared layer screen on my HP black & grey monitor. All I can think about is how unexciting this is. How my life is passing me by. I need to make change. My plan of moving to LA is becoming more of a reality as each day passes. I want to be up there now. I want to start the next chapter in my life. I’m struggling to make it throughout the day without losing my mind. I need to find something to focus on and rid myself of this ugly energy I am bombarded with. Thank heaven for the post-work Stoli Bloody Mary.

Back from Folsom and still virginal…

I have returned from San Francisco. All I will say at this time is I have officially broken in my black leather Fluevog boots. The shine has been replaced with decorations of sleaze that I will cherish every time I wear them from this point on.

Folsom, here I cum…

I begin my vacation this evening in San Francisco. I fly out after work. Can I just explain how much I have been yearning for this trip?! Seriously. This trip is way overdue, not to mention much needed. The DWBR is driving me up the fucking wall. I need a few days to zone out with some nothingness, Stoli and ass eating. What better place to have all this happen than in San Francisco, right? Of course the main attraction of this excursion is the Folsom Street Fair – which will be taking place on Sunday. I hope it’s warm that day… I want to be able to walk around in my new black leather Fluevog boots, pink American Apparel underwear, and a pink & black checkered tie. Talk about letting loose, eh? My only obstacle will be to corrupt little miss innocent Raya Light – whom Woods and I will be staying with. I hope we can get her down to Folsom, then over to the Eagle for more ice cube in the jockstrap fun! Good times are waiting.

One Three Seven

I have finally reached 137 pounds. This is a huge milestone for me. I have been struggling to pack on the weight ever since I began working out with Timofy at his place of employment’s gym. I moved over to my current gym after we parted ways last year. At that time I was weighing in at 126. I had set a goal of gaining 10 pounds (of muscle, mind you) by the end of 2006. I surpassed it, and then some… with that some being a measly pound – but hell, I’ll take it!

I get a lot of shit for being skinny. I get looks from larger people when they get a glance of me devouring a plate of thick juicy filet mignon with a side of carb loaded mashed potatoes. I receive a lot of cunty comments, usually from females, about my weight. I also run into situations when I’m on the prowl for sex where the guy I’m interested in will tell me that I am “too thin”. That is often reversed when I pull out my cock. Fucking sizequeens.

My ultimate goal is to reach 150 and maintain it from there. I have many reasons for this goal… one is for vanity obliviously, another for health purposes, and the other to be comfortable in my own skin. You may categorize vanity and to be comfortable together, but they are two totally different reasons in my eyes. Vanity – to be wanted, which in this day and age of youth & beauty can be brutal (I also want to make those dudes who said no to me in the first place to wish they had taken the chance when it was presented). To be comfortable in my skin – so I can feel good about myself (and not to mention enough confidence to strip off clothes at a moment’s notice).

Call me shallow, call me foolish, but we are all narcissistic deep down inside. We all want to be wanted, we all want to be desired… at least *I* can admit that. Can you?

It’s Your Birthday!

What a day. Today marks the one year anniversary that I have been blogging. Or actually the lack of blogging – recently that is. I started this blog last year as a way to express myself, post images of me doing inappropriate things in hopes to scare away radical religious folk, and beef up on my writing skills. I can honestly say that I feel I have achieved what I set out to do. And I’m happy with that.

I remember some time after I started this blog I got into a tiff with a couple, now “ex”, friends about a post I had made. Boy, where they pissed – which amused me immensely. The most idiotic part of that situation was the post wasn’t even about them, but as a twist of fate that little tangle allowed me to see those individual’s true colors – which were a murky brown shit color btw. Needless to say, they are “friends” no more.

One interesting fact though is the cuntier of the two peeps who literally bitched me out about the post actually starting their own blog via myspace this past year. Now how the hell are you going to bitch me out about what *I* post on *my* blog, then turn around and post bitchy entrys on their blog. Actually, that doesn’t surprise me at all… I should have known that this person was a total cooze the minute they started their holier than thou shit with me.

Anyhooter, I am happy to announce that I am officially an aunt. Yup, the spawn of my sister and some preppy thug has been birthed. What can I say other than I am totally excited. I haven’t seen any pictures yet, but I’m sure that she is an angel – unlike her mother.

Having a niece will give me a chance to nurture my motherly instinct. Ok, maybe not that, but it will definitely let me become the “cool” tia. It will also give me the opportunity to influence a young mind. And no, I don’t mean mind control like certain religious groups, but the freedom of expression full of creativity. I want my niece to know that no matter what she chooses to do in her life, she will have my full support.

If you keep them in terror, they will believe…

Happy 9/11.

Yes, you read that right.

Happy 9/11, no?

Well that is the spectacle that the Media is making of it. It’s a total advertisement machine now. They are milking it for all it’s worth. It’s such a shame that this type of tragedy has now become a mockery. And speaking of mockery and milking it for all it’s worth, good boy Pres Bush is out there using 9/11 as an excuse to justify his Iraq war.

I will be the first to stay that I am not the most educated person around, but I was under the impression that Iraq had nothing to do with the attacks on 9/11. Wasn’t that Mister Bin Laden that masterminded this plan? Five years later and he is still running amok?! I guess the capture of Mister Bin Laden isn’t that important. Oh that’s right, I’m losing focus on what’s really important – lying to the American public for your own personal gain, taking precious dollars away from your own country to help yet another country in order to inject serious brown-nose corporate bullshit, and hijacking the American dollar at the gas pumps.

I thought the American people would wake up to this type of abuse and do something about it. I guess I was expecting too much from the people who bitch and complain about violence in their children’s schools, a nipple flash on national television and the gospel being the real reason why marriage is so fucking sacred. Yes, the same exact people who make crime filled CSI the number one show on TV… the same people who help make Pornography a billion dollar a year industry… the same people who can’t deal with their own shit-filled problems they end up turning to a mythical figure whose face shows up in random grilled cheese sandwiches across the world. Yes, you know the ones… they usually have the nerve to tell other people how to live their lives because they have mastered their own lives to a perfect fucking detail.

It’s a wonderful time we live in. Five years later and we are no better off. We are in the middle of a fuckfest where a puppet of a man with the intelligence of a pencil eraser is leading the “free” world. Oh shit, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to insult the pencil eraser.

Coochie Cobwebs

It looks as if my blog was getting a bit dusty. I haven’t posted in, what seems like, forever. It’s not that I have been neglecting my blog duties due to some kind of laziness on my end... I can honestly say it’s because I don’t have the resources. I currently do not have access to a working computer outside of work. Well, that isn’t right. I don’t have access to a functional PC. I can blog on Woods’ Mac, but blogspot isn’t Mac friendly. I can’t do all the wonderful graphics. Ok, who I am kidding. I can’t blog in Blue Arial! I would die if I had to post with that grotesque Times New Roman font. Gag me with a cheap plastic IKEA spoon! I do have my work PC but I can’t really take the time to write, and then post the fucker on a mondo slow paced blogspot.com. It also makes it much more difficult to post when you have VPs walking by your cubicle quite frequently throughout the busy day. I’m hoping that I will have the laptop back to me very very soon. Well, once Timofy fixes it that is. I guess I will just have to place on my nagging hat and get to work. I’m totally sure Timofy will appreciate that. Totally.