Trick or treat? Trick please.

Silver Shamrock Halloween wishes!

Working on Sundays is good for the soul

It’s Sunday and I’m back in the office. I had to come into work this morning so I could fill in for someone from another department who has taken the day off. The upside to working on this Sunday afternoon is the ability of having the upcoming Wednesday off. It worked out perfectly as I will be heading up to Los Angeles on Tuesday night to spend Halloween with Lady E and Woods… with a hope of causing some trouble with Blink and Army as well. We shall see.

I spent my yesterday with Sad Girl, Dirty Des, Wee, Lady E and Woods. Sad Girl, Dirty Des and Wee were in LA for Monster Massive which I was originally supposed to attend but bailed at the last minute thanks to horrible reviews via text messages from Sad Girl and Army.

Since skipping out of Monster Massive, Woods and I decided to take our gay asses over to Mario Diaz’s Hot Dog for some sleazy fun. Well, it wasn’t so sleazy as the shirtless WeHo fags have fully taken over the club. I used to love Hot Dog when it was held over at The Parlour Club – just down the street. Regardless of the over processed faces, I had a good time watching the go-go dancers show off. One in particular had quite a large appendage that he was very proud of. And rightly so for that matter. I think Woods wanted to measure it… with his mouth.

Another one of go-go dancers sat & chatted with us for a while at our table in the backroom. After he expressed a few thoughts, I remember he was the one that Woods attempted to rim months back at DELUXE. Maybe he remembered Woods and wanted a private session. Either way, it was nice to have a random stranger sit down and talk to us while we tried our best to down the Stoli Tequila and 7 concoctions. Yak.

Back to the girls, I took them on a Whip tour of Los Angeles since I have never had the pleasure of showing them my future home prior to this trip. We invaded Roscoe’s Chicken N Waffles, Hollywood Costumes, JetRag, Thai Karaoke, and a portion of West Hollywood. Those places were lackluster compared to what I consider the icing on the cake which was served to us compliments of Army – who is working on a new show for Bravo.

Army called me on Friday night informing me that they needed chic individuals who were 25 years & older to, well in a nutshell, hang out and have a good time while being exploited for reality television. “Where do we sign up?!” was my response. How could you not pass up a chance to devour Wolfgang Puck made hors d'oeuvres and gulp down Bacardi Limon Mojitos free of charge? Exactly. It made for a great afternoon actually. Sad Girl & Dirty Des got interviewed by the camera crew, Wee got wheelchair’d, Woods snapped up the Tuna Tar Tar, and I got wasted. Lovely, completely lovely.

Now I just have to get through today. And so far, it’s not so good – mainly because my lack of sleep. And also because my annoyance with this place is reaching record levels. That isn’t so cute. Maybe I’ll hit up the adult bookstore after I leave the office for a post-work wank/show off session. That always makes the day a little brighter.

10 9 8 and I’m breaking away...

It’s 1:22am Thursday night. Oops. I mean Friday morning.

I’m at work in the office right now.

I’m patiently waiting for the damn import to finish so I can run my final reports and get the fuck out of here.

I need to get over the fact that I am completely annoyed with the way things have played out today.

I need to eat. I need to sleep. I need a shower. I need to clean up my haircut.

I’ve got Shiny Toy Guns’ “Don’t Cry Out” playing on repeat. I love myspace so much at this moment.

I seriously cannot wait for the weekend to begin.

Do I Look Like A Slut?

Why yes, you do. Now be here tonight so you can eat some ass in the men’s toilet…

San Diego Weekend Survival

Mark your calendars. Thanks to Blink’s planned trip, I spend the entire past weekend in San Diego. Yep, it’s true – all the way from Friday through Sunday. I even got myself out to a couple of the homo bars in town. And I didn’t slap anyone! Can you believe it?!

Friday night, I tried to keep it low key as I was anticipating Blink’s arrival on Saturday morning so I hit up Bourbon Street (ack!) with Flipper, Heb and Woods. The four of us could barely handle the thick layer of artificialness that was kept in the air thanks to the Abercrombie & Fitch clones. I had forgotten how vapid those queens were at that bar. Oh what I’m saying… the queens are vapid at all the bars. Regardless, we all reached our tolerance level and escaped the bar around midnight. We decided to head on over to Casa Norte for additional cocktails and drunken conversation about San Diego’s overly touchy gay community. Good times indeed.

Blink came down on Saturday morning from Van Nuys to hang out with me, and to check out the city. I got to provide myself as a tour guide for a little more than 24 hours. He didn’t seem to mind me trekking him all over the gay-borhoods and respective areas. We even made a stop at Blacks Beach so he could check out the hard(less) bodies. Due to the non-summer day, the eye candy was limited. I assured Blink that if he comes back during the summer, there would be A LOT more to look at. Altho I always find something to focus on… and I did that day, in the bushes of course.

Blink broke away from the clutches of my evil grasp soon after a lunch with Woods and I at the old Hamburger Mary’s which is now known as Urban Mo’s. I told him that he needed to come back so I can continue my corruption of his moral values. And that if he didn’t, I would just have to hunt him down when I move up to the Los Angeles area.

I have to say that the weekend was great. I got to hang out with some amazing people – with one in particular that I’ve wanted to hang out with for quite some time now. I hope I didn’t scare any of them away with my displeasing gab, ghetto slang, or promiscuous sexual antics. But then again, aren’t those my best qualities?

Destroy Everything You Touch

Last night I attended the much anticipated Ladytron show at the Belly Up Tavern with my wonderful mates AP, Timofy and Woods. We did our best to arrive earlier than usual so we could get an eyeful of the opener CSS. Upon driving up to the venue at 8:15pm-ish, there was a lengthy line down the block for the peeps who had pre-sold tickets! I had no idea that Ladytron was that popular is San Diego. Although the show wasn’t sold out, it was definitely balls to the wall packed inside.

I have to describe the crowd as odd due to the fact that it was filled with a mixture of loud Bulgarians raising the Bulgarian flag in the air, Woods lovin’ bears, Hillcrest hipsters, South Park tree huggers, 94.9 Indie rockers who danced their asses off, bearded drunken faggots, Zombie Lounge white trash 50’s greaser dudes with a “I have a tiny penis, but I can kick your ass so good to make up for it” complex, and the Belly Up locals who apparently show up just about every night regardless of who is playing – it must be nice to live in Solana Beach and have the enough money to waste it on a ticket every evening. We had perfectly planted ourselves smack dead in the center of all this diversity – with alcoholic beverages in hand of course.

Anyhow, Brazilian bred CSS finally got on stage around 9:20pm. During their awesome performance, AP got pushed around by a little bearded drunken faggot wearing a CSS t-shirt who fancied my neck tie (and possibly something more according to Woods’ observations). AP just laughed off the pushing with a roll of her eyes. Woods came to the conclusion that AP was being pushed by the little bearded drunken faggot because the little bearded drunken faggot thought AP and I were a couple. If that was the case, he almost won the title of Mr. Piece Of Shit Asshole for the night. Anyone who tries to push around such a demure lady like AP needs to get clocked. I should have kicked his ass right there!

During the intermission between bands, I ended up running into the little bearded drunk faggot wearing a CSS t-shirt in the bathroom where he threw water in my face. I told him he better simmer down or else. Of course, I had no idea what that “else” would have been but I wasn’t in the mood for a confrontation.

The Mr. Piece Of Shit Asshole award of the night went to the wanna be Alpha Male with the greaser long sideburns and black Kangol-ish cap attempting to kick some drunk guy’s ass in the middle of the floor. What a fucking turd to start that kind of crap in a full house like that. That loser fuckhead didn’t need to make that kind of scene, but he had to prove to that drunk dude (who was a friend of little bearded drunk faggot wearing a CSS t-shirt btw), and everyone else apparently, that he had the biggest little cock in the entire bar. He looked ridiculous doing an impersonation of a macho shitkicker from 1955. Of course his cooze of a girlfriend just stood next to him swooning over the drippage of faux testosterone.


Ladytron rocked the house beginning sometime after 10:15pm. They were completely amazing. Even with the slow growing deadpan presence, the band was captivating enough for you to focus on them. There were nice visuals outlining their stage set up, but nothing too outrageous that would cause your eyes to wander. I was mesmerized by lead vocal Helen who, as time went on, started to interact with the audience – flaying her eyes open and closed to the front of the crowd, dancing around in her chic black dress, and even smiling at the Bulgarians. I do give those Bulgarians credit for making band member the finger twirled hair styled and Bulgarian born Mira smile.

Ladytron is up there with Garbage as a band I definitely wouldn’t mind seeing over and over again. And to my surprise they will be playing LA again on Halloween night. Shall I take my costumed ass over to the El Rey? I think I shall!

The c List

I have put together a list of all the people who have been all cunty with me within the past couple of weeks…

DWBR
KiKi

I know it’s not much of a list, and it’s no huge surprise that it’s only these two motor mouth birds making the cut. From what I can tell, they both like to try to show their “authority” to me – whatever the fuck that entails I'm still figuring out.

DWBR loves to prove false truths, and point the blame onto someone else while KiKi just can’t shut the fuck up for a moment, nor sit the fuck down. Maybe KiKi has ADD. That would explain a lot actually… since KiKi’s eyes wander onto me & my actions excessively. I’m very close to telling both of these cows to shove it.

Welcome to Cocktober

I cannot fucking believe it – it’s already the month of October. How fast has this year gone by? New Year’s Eve seemed like it was just yesterday – minus the treacherous headache and the mind bending search for the digital camera. I’m crossing my fingers that this time next year I will be settled into a place in the lovely neighborhood of Silverlake, or Echo Park, or Los Feliz. Whatever, as long as I am in Los Angeles it will be all good.

Well October happens to be my favorite month of the year – mostly because of Halloween. Halloween is like the gay Christmas. You get to dress up, although most fags opt for dressing down, or shall I say dress less. I swear if I see another goddamn Angel costume where the not quite muscled guy is shirtless in some white undies or trunks with those fucking wings attached to his back I am going to lose it. Literally, I'm going to flippin’ scream like a banshee. I guess I better prepare myself to go bananas as this year I will be attending the West Hollywood Street Festival. Yet again.

I had decided on my outfit for 2006 last Halloween actually. I was at The Abbey on Halloween night when had seen the famous Rosas Lady walking around selling, um, roses and I thought to myself “fuck, I so want to do that next year”. And as the year bopped on by I had kept on planning on what I was going to do – which was not much to be honest. My checklist consisted of a man wig (check), some dress down jeans, top & a windbreaker jacket which would all be Wal-Mart approved (check), and some roses (not checked). I feared that my goal to be somewhat close to the real life Rosas Lady would be costly as I wanted to purchase two fistfuls of real fresh roses to pass out all night long. Then again, I could sell those fuckers and make that money back. Problem solved.

The other thing I am so into this month is horror movie nights. Yes, I will subject my eyes, and any willing participant for that matter, to viewings of horror films. First up on the chopping block (so to speak) is Dead Alive – Peter Jackson’s campy zombielicious masterpiece. I plan on springing out that DVD in the next couple of days. I bought it months back by have not yet watched it – again, that is, I’ve seen it numerous times before. The second film would be the “banned in 30 countries” Cannibal Holocaust – which I do not own at the moment, nor have I seen. I’m on the lookout for Cannibal Holocaust DVD which is (supposedly) completely unaltered. I have been waiting to see this film since I was a gore hound teenager ravaging through the pages of my monthly Fangoria. I have located a copy at the local Tower Records. As soon as I’m granted with a payday I will be hopping on over to purchase it. I can’t bloody wait.

The rest of the month will consist of a trip to Knott’s Scary Farm’s Halloween Haunt, numerous concerts (Basement Jaxx, Adult., Ladytron, and *possibly* Diamanda Galas), a visit from a mate of mine whom I met at the SAC airport months ago, the continuation of growing my half beard out, and gratuitous sex with strangers. Fuck, I totally just soaked my panties writing all of that.

Recounting Raya

The always lovely Raya Light made a trip down to Los Angeles this past weekend so Woods and I made a special trip up to the city to visit with her. Of course we drove up a night earlier so we could make a (now infamous) stop at Forbidden City on Friday night. See the previous post for more info.

I was very happy that I finally got to see the bitch in action. She has won numerous medals for her work on the court. The tennis court, that is. We also got to whore ourselves up and down Hollywood Boulevard dragging Lady E everywhere we went. Raya even got to fawn over some Israeli ass, as did Woods, Lady E, and I. The boy was very hot I have to admit. I even snagged a few cam phone pictures which you can view here…


Lady E, Raya, Woods and myself enjoyed the culinary scrumpciousness of Casita Del Campo in Silverlake in the evening with a post dinner performance of Chico’s Angels 3: Chicas in Chains. Raya fell head over heels in love with Kay Sedia btw. Raya was home (hotel) by 11:30pm, of course.

The next day was filled with Raya’s sweaty green balls flying all over the place. They were amazing. I hope Raya comes back down to SoCal soon so she can show off her sweaty green balls at The Zone. I think the boys there would definitely appreciate the softness of them. I know I would.

You Gonna Want Me

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