What can brown do for you?

Even tho it was raining profusely, Woods and I ventured out to Pacific Beach last evening for some dinner. The place we had our hearts set on was unfortunately closed for renovations. Bugger. Luckily, we remembered there was another restaurant down the street we were eagerly aching to hit up again – Gringos Cantina.

Being the fact that it was a Monday night and the glorious beachy neighborhood of PB, I knew the place would more than likely be busy – even with the fact that the rain was turning all of the local sorority skanks into wet poodles. It never fails with that area of town. And I was right – it was a full house, and yes, the chicks DID look like wet poodles.

As Woods and I were escorted to our table, I noticed right away that all of the patrons were, ahem, of the Caucasian persuasion. I didn’t spot an ethnic person in the bunch. I began to wonder where all of the colored folk were. Oh that’s right, we was all in the back making the food. I was quickly schooled when I realized the majority of the kitchen & wait staff consisted of the Joses, Hectors, and Maribels.

I’ve never been one to feel out of place when I’m the minority in the group. And I’m not just speaking of being around a bunch of white peoples, I’m talking about all kinds – Black peoples, Asian peoples, Green peoples, you name it. There has been one a many of times were I am the only Hispanic/German/Spanish/Native American/Pilipino person in the whole gawdamn place. I have never thought twice about it. And why should it bother me? It doesn’t. I could give a flying fuck if I’m the token. But I do have to admit, I love making my observations. Well, because, that’s the kind of bitch I am.

AnyHO, after waiting for what seemed like an eternity to get our main course, I spotted an Asian girl amongst a table of American Eagle rejects. They were all clearly having a good time – which is totally cool in my book. Laughing, snorting, snogging. I like it when you have interracial mingling. Hell, I enjoy it more when you have interracial fucking – but this was not the place I was going to see that.

I whispered to Woods of my Asian girl findings. He eyed the table over a few times and replied back to me “I think there is more than one Asian girl at that table”. I immediately looked back to see if I skipped over any one of significant importance. I saw nothing of the sort. Maybe it was his gigantic margarita that had him seeing fauxness. Or maybe he saw an interracial mixture in one of the darker hair girls across from little miss Asian. That could have been possible. Oh well, I lost interest soon enough as I was ready to lodge my sandal up between our waiter’s ass checks.

As I slurped up the last remaining alcoholic droplets of my strawberry cocktail, I looked once more around the room. I made a final observation that all of the ladies (read: bleached blonde coozes with bad clothes) looked exactly liked each other. There was not one person that stood out. For a moment, I thought the front door was a cloning device that was spitting out those squealing vapid Paris Hilton wannabes. It was sad. And predictable.

I was able to spot the girls who were secretly hating the girl across from them for being prettier or for having more money, or the girls who were so insecure that their entire silicon double D was pouring out of their top. And why was I able to do such a good job at this? Well, being a gay man, um, let me re-phrase, being a man who fucks other men, I was able to basically replace all of those Buffys with muscle queens at the local gay bar. It’s all the same really.

Everyone wants to stand out and be looked like as an individual, but when it really comes down to it, no they really don’t. Think about it – all of the Goths look similar don’t they? Even when they’re all crying about how different they all are. Sorry bitches, no you ain’t! You all look like Robert Smith/Siouxie Sioux clones!

I guess being the only beaner in the bunch (read: sitting down at a table feasting on food) last night was refreshing to Woods – which was nice, since he has to deal with my wetback ass on a daily basis. Oh, but what a fun wetback I am.