You ain't ready two thousand seven!

Wow. What a way to bring in the New Year. I would be lying if I said that Los Angeles was a total bore. To be quite honest, it was down right insane – one hundred percent.

Pam Ann ---> It’s Absolutely Fabulous for the airline industry. Even with the fact that I wanted to introduce a certain table hording muscle queen to my right fist, I had a great time. My mates LadyE & Woods may not have loved it as much as I did, but they did manage to chuckle more than once. Peanuts, anyone?

Skin @ MJ’s ---> Thanks to Army (+ his minions), I put LadyE, Woods and myself on the Guest List for free entry to this dirty dance party where our eyes were filled with bare bubbled asses and educational fisting videos. I felt like I was back in San Francisco. Altho, SF isn’t lucky enough to have Willam Belli at the door! (it was nice to have finally met your acquaintance Willam!!)

Blondie @ Key Club ---> “Go Deb!” Holy shit. Can you say over booked? Fuck, I don’t think Key Club was prepared to have the place balls-to-the-wall packed with older hipsters, young indie rockers, and faggots of all races, shapes and sizes. Highlights included Deborah Harry’s wig, the crazy older woman on the stairs behind us yelling out her love for the Deb, the fight that broke out in which the bouncer grabbed the feisty female by the hair, and the “VIP after party” in the lounge downstairs.

Sterling @ Avalon ---> Vapid homos galore. Woods and I imploded our dancing techniques on the main floor to the sweet sounds that Joe Gauthreaux pulled out from the decks. Within the first 45 minutes I heard some of my favorite dance songs of 2006: Joey Negro’s “Make A Move On Me”, Blaze Presents UDA Featuring Barbara Tucker’s “Most Precious Love”, and Starkillers’ “Discoteka”. Damn, I’m gay. The only lowlight was the very yawn worthy exit of a very white Christmas looking Kristine W. It seems like someone dropped on the ball on the planning committee. Not to mention the half sound screeching out of her microphone. Mic check next time, please. Thank heaven I was too drunk to notice. Ahem.

LadyE’s New Year’s Eve Feast ---> Lamb, Macaroni & Cheese, Red Potatoes, Greens, red wine and so much more. It was definitely the right way to end the year. LadyE slaved all day in the kitchen while Woods and I attempted to hit the gym. Some Veuve Clicquot and a nap ensued shortly after the meal.

New Year’s Eve @ The Factory ---> One way to ring in the New Year with a bang is to party with the “gay and lesbians” – and LadyE, Woods and I sure as hell did that. We drank, danced and mingled with the infamous B.Lox whom we all originally met at Mickey’s during Los Angeles Pride. What a way to start the year right? Rekindling some fawning with a few masculine men… and no, I’m not including LadyE – no matter how masculine she claims to be!

New Year’s Day Lunch ---> The Red Rooster was definitely pulled out as the Catfish was fried and the Black Eyed Peas were spilled. Another one of LadyE’s tasty creations. Let’s hope her voodoo food magic brings good fortune this year. Yikes, I just jinxed the next twelve months!

Le Gym (Hollywood vs. Miracle Mile) ---> Despite the fact that I am paying for the usage of all locations in the entire state of California, the icy managerial bitch at the front desk in Hollywood had the nerve to tell us (me + Woods) that we couldn’t work out there unless we supplied them with the 5 dollar fee – each. Stupid asshole woman will feel the wrath of this queer as I will contact headquarters for this inconvenience.

The Tres Above Sunset ---> Two man-smells + a trimmed = perfect combination on the first day of the New Year. Now let me heal in peace.