Who the hell is Jack Johnson?

Who would have suspected that one overrated artist (in my opinion, of course) would stir up so much controversy regarding being billed as a headliner at one of the most well attended music festivals in the nation? Not I dear sir, not I.

The shit hit the fan on Monday night, but I didn't hear about it until Tuesday morning when I awoke from my slumber via a text message from my brother. The backlash was already making it's way across America about the Coachella line-up. Those Coachheads [truly obsessive but loyal attendees] were completely shocked and appalled by what, most will say, Goldenvoice had truly screwed up on - listing the fatigue inducing Jack Johnson as the headliner for the Friday's show.

And to add fuel to the fire, many believe that this year's line-up announcement was less than stellar. Check it out for yourself:


I will admit at first look I wasn't thrilled at the acts as I felt it was a bit lackluster in comparison to the previous years, but after a careful examination of the list of artists, my tune is VERY different now.

I have to disagree with most people, the line-up is not at all weak. I will say that the news of Jack Johnson as a headliner does bring tears to my eyes, and a rage motivating me to locate the Goldenvoice suit who made the horrible executive decision to let that San Diego lovin' musician worm his way into such a sought after indie music festival.

There are many questions being burn those these Coachheads brains regarding this news:

-Did Jack Johnson make a pact with the devil (a/k/a Ticketmaster) that the only way he would be part of this year's festival would be for him to be billed as a headliner?

-Did Goldenvoice not meet their hippie, pothead, and surfer quota last year so they listed Jack at the top of the list so they could attract a cavalcade from San Diego on Friday?

-Is it true that Jack Johnson has a vagina?

Regardless, there were many other ways they could have announced that Jack Johnson would be a part of the festival this year. Unfortunately, being billed as a headliner was not one of them.

If you look past the Jack Johnson fiasco, you will see that this year will be known as the "Year of the Small Band". For example, I am going to list the artists/bands I personally think are worth going for. And even tho I have seen most of them already (look for the * that will indicate that I've had the pleasure of experiencing them live previously), I will argue my case that this festival is a worthy investment.

Friday April 25th, 2008

Raconteurs *
The Breeders
Fatboy Slim
Tegan and Sara *
Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings
Spank Rock *
Diplo
Adam Freeland
Architecture in Helsinki *
Sandra Collins
Cut Copy
Datarock * (added note: they are amazing live)

Saturday April 26th, 2008

Portishead
Kraftwerk
Death Cab for Cutie *
Sasha & Digweed
Rilo Kiley *
M.I.A. * (added note: she is amazing live)
Hot Chip *
Mark Ronson
Calvin Harris
Junkie XL
The Teenagers
VHS or Beta *
Yo Majesty!
Bonde Do Role *
MGMT
The Bird and the Bee *
New Young Pony Club * (added note: AMAZING, AMAZING, AMAZING live)
Uffie

Sunday April 27th, 2008

Roger Waters (added note: I only listed this if you plan on dropping acid)
Love & Rockets
Justice
Chromeo *
The Streets
Metric * (added note: they are amazing live)
Danny Tenaglia *
Simian Mobile Disco
Booka Shade
Dmitri from Paris
Autolux
Sia * (added note: she is amazing live)

***I do have to say that New Young Pony Club was probably THEE best live band I had the opportunity in seeing last year. I strongly suggest you see them when you can.

I will add one major complaint: Where the hell was Goldenvoice's pull on bringing in such phenomenal acts as Goldfrapp, Pet Shop Boys, Kudu, Spektrum, Radiohead, Client, The Knife, Prodigy, Juliette & The Licks, and Siouxsie that would have been such a great fit for the festival this year. Instead they brought back Justice and Spank Rock who were both at the festival in 2007.

Overall, I will be attending the festival as I have the past two years. I always manage to have a good time no matter what. And I know my mates do too. But to me, it's not about seeing the bands all close up, or trying to cram in as many live acts as humanly possible. It's about spending time with great friends I don't get to see that often, the insane adventures to & from the condo in Betina while everyone drinks & smokes in the back all while snapping photos on their digital cameras, the annual outing to the gay bars in Palm Springs, smoking a little MJ while staring up in the night sky, scarfing down those delicious Senor Corn's baked potatoes, smuggling Stoli into the festival concealed in a freshly cleaned out sunblock bottle so you can fill up your frozen lemonade with something other than ice, watching Milan work her shit on the stage while Miss Lady Kier mans the decks, checking out those little bands that you wouldn't normally pay to see only to be totally blown away with their performance, getting so bombed from partying that you pass out for 45 minutes on the grassy field, avoiding being crushed to death while in the front of a frenzied crowd with the help of security guards who end up letting you hang out on the sidelines drinking with the roadies watching one of the headlining acts, dancing the night away to amazing DJs in one of the dance tents, and getting it on in the port-o-pottys with a hot stud with a large appendage. These are the experiences that make Coachella what it is. The bands are just an added bonus in the scheme of it all. And I can't wait to do again it this year.

Feeling like an old piece of furniture...

It's fairly safe for me to say that I am craving some Whip-solo experiences. I think I am hitting this from all angles - from making friends to random sexual encounters. I haven't really broken down the logistics of it as of yet, but I am in the planning stages. To be honest, this has been building up for quite some time.

It's coming on a year that I have been out of work. The kind soul that is Woods and the breaking back of the wackos known as the Government have lent me their helping hands on getting by the entire year with the necessities to keep me truckin' along. But now as the train slows down, I am placed into the employment pool. This is not something I have been looking forward to that is for sure, but it is something that I *have* to do regardless.

I need a paycheck. I need health insurance. I need some kind of social interaction. I need a regular ongoing schedule,damnit! Hate to say it, but employment does help on all of those levels. And when the hell do *I* need a regular ongoing schedule?!

*groan*

*sigh*

*stomach ache*

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. Once I begin working, I know that I will be given the necessary tools that will push me on my way. I am in dire need of a social life beyond what I have become accustomed to within the past year. I have felt so stuck in the corner recently. I don't know how to bring myself out of it.

Even tricking is something I haven't been all ghung-ho about. I have been so comfortable in my surroundings that I haven't even wanted to venture out into the anonymous sex world. Something that I was very active in over the past 7 years.

This is just an obstacle I need to get over. Once I secure a job, I know my life will fall into place here in Los Angeles. I just need to keep reminding myself to be patient. Life isn't handed to you on a silver platter. Unless you are that skank El Spicy Hilton. *vomit*

Until I find work, I should enjoy my last days as a man free of the push & pull of the cut throat Corporate America world. I suppose I better armor myself now, because once you get back into that day-to-day scene, those wolves can be pretty fucking vicious.

Monday already?!

Wow, how could a weekend that had so much nightlife potential turn into a slumber party?

Originally, I had events penciled into my calendar weeks ago but those plans were scrapped when some random food at Baja Fresh on Friday afternoon killed the buzz. I managed to hit the gym on Friday evening for a little upper body action despite me experiencing the beginning stages of an illness.

After a very quick workout, I headed over to Eleven for a few drinks. I was hoping downing some cocktails would squash the oncoming rapture of foul feelings. Call me crazy, but I like to think that alcohol is a sickness repellent. Well, after four cocktails, seeing a few former tricks, spotting the fellow homos from the gym, spraying my cynical seed from my mouth regarding the clones in the bar, and stuffing my throat with late night Thai food at 3am, I still didn't feel all that much better. I guess I am not as young as I once was.

Cut to Sunday morning 4am... I awake. I completely surpassed Saturday by sleeping through it. I slept for close to 20 hours. This totally threw me off because upon opening my eyes I felt it was early Saturday evening. I couldn't believe I missed an entire day. I had wanted to attend Bang's 8 Year Anniversary on Saturday night. I was hoping to shake my ass to some 60's Mod and Brit Pop. Fuck. I was a little upset, but on the same token, a bit relieved that I had gotten some rest.

Since I was up, I put Sunday morning to use by completing the chore of laundry at Lucy's Laundromat in Hollywood. The scene was interesting, as well as down right annoying. All thanks to a Mexican family with two very young rambunctious boys who I shot dirty looks to numerous times. To add fuel to the fire, the mother of the boys got into a shouting match with another lady regarding their respective loads of laundry. The two women immaturely yelled at each other "No, you shut up" repeatedly for what seemed like an eternity. The entire male clientele was quite entertained from the antics of the two old cats verbally clawing at each other. I wanted out of there, and I couldn't leave fast enough.

After that came breakfast at The Griddle. I filled my belly with their scrumcicous Tequila Sunrise (Huevos Rancheros) - which only lead to a stomach ache. A helping of DVD & CD shopping at the closing Virgin Megastore on Sunset only masked the pain for a few short hours.

By the time the afternoon rolled around, I was tired, achy, and feeling somewhat ill again. I wanted to overcome it by hitting the gym, and dancing the night away at Scandal at The Fonda. Scandal was bringing in one of my favorite DJs from New York - Peter Rauhofer. The last time I heard him spin was ages ago. I had been psyching myself up for this night for the past month. I figured if I forgo the gym, and get in a nap before club time, I would be up to speed for a few hours of rug cutting. Not quite.

I woke up at 11:30pm, showered, ate, but by 1am, I wasn't feeling in the mood to be neck and neck with a few hundred shirtless circuit queens. Even though I was frustrated by inability to overcome the foul feelings I was having, I though to myself "I guess there will be other times" and "my health is more important". But damn, I still could not help feeling a bit down. I was really looking forward to releasing any stress I had built up inside of me by getting lost in the dark tribal sounds of sex club music.

Oh well, here's to hoping that next weekend will bring that opportunity. I always manage to find myself a good time. Whether it be with music, shopping, working out, or sex, the world doesn't end by missing one party.

Welcome to 2008!

Shit.

It's been months since I blogged last - literally. I have many reasons (and excuses) why I haven't kept up with my blog. I won't go into them, but I will say that I am back on it. I finally got a internet cable connection that will allow me to pop online as I please to post my most deepest desires regarding my life.

And it does help that we are in a new year. I welcomed 2008 with open arms from the apartment in which I am inhabiting. I didn't go out like I had wanted to. I opted to stay indoors with Woods watching movies. Exciting right? In all honesty, it was.

Overall, here is to a new year, new experiences, and new adventures. I can't wait to sink my teeth into what this year (and Los Angeles) has to offer.