Gone In A Flash

I'm only in LA for about 48-some odd hours to celebrate New Year's Eve with Woods and RA. I have no idea what the hell we are going to end up doing but I'm sure it will have something to do with food, cocktails and getting into loads of trouble... sounds like another night out with the guy, but at least this time, we'll be flipping the bird to 2009. Woot!

The Continental Awaits

I'm heading back out on the road again. This time... the uber-fabulous Tucson, Arizona, again. This will be the third time within four weeks. What the hell is going on?! I never spend this much time in Tucson... not counting the years of my adolescence. Well since Christmas is coming up, Woods and I decided to spend it with my mom, and to continue the process of cleaning/remodeling the back bedroom. I know once we have it completed, I will be so happy but the trekking back and forth can be a bit jarring. Oh well, I just need to suck it up and think positively. Go girl!

Unfinished Posts: The Dead Is Arisen... From A Drunken Slumber

For the past few months, my ultimate annoyances have taken up residency with that hot mess called Timofy. I was extremely angry with her for the shit she pulled on me back in the summer. But now that time has passed, I'm much calmer with any thoughts of her. I've moved on in other words. This is the beginning portion of the post I wrote when she decided to text me to wish me a happy Turkey Day...

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I've finally heard from that thing called Timofy. She sent me a text early this morning informing me that she is indeed alive and well. I'm happy that she is doing "great", but I am not so happy that it took almost three weeks since I saw her last to let me know that the trip she/we were planning was postponed. One word: typical.

I'm totally done with her bullshit. Let me explain. For the years that we were "together", I was always the one who got the blame anytime nothing went according to plan. The one who was to blame when we were late. Oh yes, it was Whip's fault again. "She takes a long time to get ready." so was the excuse. I was the one that had to provide damage control in order to save face even though that bitch was passed out in public somewhere.

I hope she finds her peace.

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I'm hoping now that all issues are under the bridge, she won't act like such a dumb cunt anymore. Oh, wishful thinking - you get me all the time!

Unfinished Posts: To Dial A Drunk

Here is a blog diary that I started, but never got around to finishing. Why? Because I'm lazy. It's find it interesting on how months ago this situation was a huge issue, but after a couple of conversations with Woods, the air was cleared and everything has been great ever since.

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Oh, happy birthday RA. It was a splendid day.

Since about 3pm, I have been celebrating the birth day of RA with Woods, and well, RA, obviously. We started the festivities at Will Rogers beach in Santa Monica. We downed Corona & shots of tequila disguised in plastic cups in order to avoid any repercussions from the authorities.

I want to take a drive right at this moment in order to clear my head, but I can't. And why? Woods has hidden the car keys. Both sets. I find it extremely odd that he would do this. And I find it extremely annoying as well.

Now I feel trapped. This is the kind of emotion I have been trying to get Woods to understand.

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As you can see I never really finished that thought. I guess I figured it was easier to use sex as a way to release the tension and open my mind - which led to helping me realize ways to solve this problem. Oh, I love my penis.

He By The Name Of Lambert

I remember back when I started attending Dragstrip, I would see a certain someone parading around in female attire, or at the very least glamtastic garb. And that person was Adam Lambert. Go girl! But now that she is in the public spotlight, the "I want to be straight" homosexuals are threatened. My thoughts on their insecurities - "what a bunch of whiny pussies". And it seems I am not the only one with similar thoughts...

From towleroad.com:

I have posted similar comments on other gay blogs and I will repeat it here - if gay men can't get behind a young, exciting, out gay artist and support him as much as we support divas like Kathy Griffin, Cher, Bette Midler and so on, we're screwed. Adam Lambert, whether or not you like his music, is a phenomenon, a phenomenally talented and OUT artist at the beginning of his career who has the potential to cross over and be as big as Madonna. Everyone in show business knows it. Only some bitchy queens who don't like his hair, eyeliner or whatever don't. Who needs the religious right to destroy us, when we have each other?

So what if he screwed up? By any standards, his AMA performance was a mess, but it was one hot mess. Adam was essentially saying - fuck you, I'm gay and hot and I'll push a man's face in my crotch and kiss another man in front of America if I feel like it. If gay men continue to demand exacting standards about how other gays should look, dress and behave, they're no better that Republican fascists. I have truly been aghast by some of the nasty comments I have read posted by gay men about him.

No wonder we don't have our rights. All we care about are hot guys with great bodies who look straight.

Posted by: Jim | Dec 1, 2009 11:07:59 PM

Return Of The Living Dead

I'm back from Tucson still intact in one whole piece. Oh happy day. And thank god for that sex party earlier tonight otherwise I would have been a pent up angry little gnome.

The Excorism Of Whiplash Lopenski

I'm getting my shit together for another trip to Tucson, and I'm super excited!

*insert sarcasm here*

I was just there a couple of weeks back for my aunt's 50th birthday party. It was nice visiting the fam while I was there, but there were a few events that made the time there turn sour. I know I get my hopes up quite often, so I've welcomed frustration as a common factor of my life. But I do have to say that one incident in particular opened up my eyes to the learned behavior/emotional baggage that has plagued me for 33 years of my life: the excuse card.

There are certain members of my family who love to play the "excuse card". And even go to the point of living their lives by this rule. It's really quite annoying and unflattering. Ugh, I don't even want to think about it so I'm going to exhale all of the bad vibes, and inhale positive energies.

*calm*

*breathe*

Oh my, I think it's working!

Well Hello There Double Threes

My birthday has come and went. Well if you want to be all technical and shit, it's actually happening right at this moment - given if you want to play the 24 hours from the time you were born crap. I was born sometime in the chilly evening of December 3, 1976. As my mom will tell you, I was born late. No surprise there. The due date was some two weeks prior but apparently I liked the snuggle factor inside the womb. So what, I like to snuggle!

Anyhow, this year's born day was fine. I didn't get all wild like those of birthdays past. It was definitely low key. I slept off and on all day thanks to the fact that I wasn't feeling all that well - thanks flu shot! Since getting up on the late side, that didn't leave much time for a formal bday dinner. Woods and I ended up at Fatburger. Yum. We needed something quick since we had to get over to REDCAT for Joey Arias.

Arias With A Twist was the perfect birthday gift - even tho the crowd was considerably lackluster. Yawn. It was a sea of old bitties and Silverlake queens. The old bitties were obviously shocked at the risque nature of the show, while the Silverlake queens only seemed to be there to be "seen". At least that is how it all came off to old cynical me.

The show itself was phenomenal. I was short of breath! Joey Arias has always been one of my favorite performers, and this show was a true love letter to him. Basil Twist's fantastic puppetry/imagery was mind-blowing. I felt like a kid again wondering in my mind with obscured and, sometimes, matured fantasies. I loved every minute of it. I hope that they do take it up to San Fran so I could get my mom up there to see it. I imagine she would definitely love as much as I do/did. And for an added bonus on my birthday, I snagged an Arias With A Twist t-shirt and soundtrack. Twerk!

The night ended with a workout at the gym. Nothing sordid, just a strict focus of hardcore exercise. It was lower body Thursday. Fun. There was something in the air that didn't pull me into the cruise mode. I think I had too much on my mind - it probably had something to do with the calm(er) evening.

On the drive home, I did my best to place all of my thoughts together. It seemed that everything I was going over in my head was goal related, or habit changing. Insert broken record comment here. I like treat birthdays as a wakeup call, but to be honest, isn't everyday a birthday?

Anyhow (2), I want to list the few things that I would like to work on over the next year. Some of them may seem to be silly and mundane to you, but they are serious to me. This is a crucial time in my life, and I need to make the most of it, so here goes...

01. Make sure I am making the most of the day (no more bullshitting)

02. Allow enough time to complete tasks (i.e. gym, cleaning, etc.)

03. Limit the clutter, and keep the house/rooms presentable (thank you Clean House - I love my Niecy Nash)

04. Follow up with fuckbuds/tricks (stop beating around the bush, so to speak)

There was one I originally wrote for the list above, but upon reviewing it, I came to the conclusion that can't help myself when dealing with stupid cunts out in public. It went something like this... "05. Try not to get into fisticuffs (talking shit to stupid people at bars)". But you know what, I don't seek out this type of conflict, it just happens when some idiot acts up in front of me. I have always tried too keep my cool, but at some point you just have to say what you have to say. It's my nature. Now.

All in all, it was a good birthday. My most favorite thing is being able to have someone I can count on. And that person is Woods. Without him, life would be not worth living. And I am happy I was able to spend my birthday with him. And Joey Arias. And Basil Twist. And with my thoughts. And working out at the gym. And having Tequila at 12:01am on December 3rd. And eating late at Bossa Nova. And living my life in Los Angeles. The list could go on and on... but I'll shush my pie hole there.

Arias Is The Cherry On The Cake

Happy Born Day to me!

And how will I be spending it?

This way...

My Biological Clock

In less than 24 hours, I will turn 33 years of age. Or according to Woods, entering my 34th year of existence. Either way, I am looking forward to my new year of life and what lies ahead. While most gay men in their thirties begin to freak out at the thought of getting older, I do not. I have never been one to be on the search for the fountain of youth. I remember being in my mid-twenties and hating it. I felt there was too much naive and irrational behaviour. And for much younger folk, that is used as an excuse. It never suited me to be that way so I was constantly looking towards the future. As time goes on, I know that I will only gain maturity, and I also know that no matter how old I am, I will always have my spirit - which in fact is that of a child. That is what I value most. So here's to my big 33. Welcome!

I Am So Over Ageism

While ogling the profiles on dudesnude, I came across this text lodged in a profile of a 45 year old attractive gent who hails from Ontario, Canada. I find it quite honest and extremely entertaining. I give him my full "8 inch" salute!

I am officially worthless! What with most ads cutting people of interest off at 45, 35 or even 25, why am I even here? I suppose its from working out for years, always waiting to get into better shape to go on a site like this. Then one day waking up and realizing.. this is as good as it gets. So boys and bois, this is what 45 looks like. It used to bother me when I saw ads saying things like..'don't even bother me if you are over 30'.. this person obviously thinks that older men are creepy so they only like young guys their age. It's sweet irony knowing that as they get older themselves ( we all do) , they will keep soliciting young guys,and that they will become the very 'creepy' guy they mock now.. ( hehehee )

Make Me Over

I'm off to the Tranimal Drag Workshop over at Machine Project in Echo Park. My LaLa Land idols Squeaky Blonde & Fade-Dra are giving a once over to all who want to become "tranimal" - a term coined by Jer Ber Jones. I'm doing my best to think of a good question to ask if for some reason they have an Q&A session. Maybe one for Fade-Dra asking her about her love for that innovative pop starlet Lady GaGa.

*cough cough*

"She's 100 and looks like a shark!" as spoken by Fade-Dra regarding the GaGa many weeks back at Mustache Mondays.

*smiley face*

Anyway, I hope I am not asked to participate in the tranimal transformation as I am going strictly to observe and take notes. I've got a pad of paper and a pen. I'm even wearing my black rimmed glasses to elevate my look from faglet to artfag. Here's hoping that it works.

Gobble It Up

This never gets old...



This makes Turkey Day bearable. Well, this and a bottle of Monkey Bay.

Detroit Rock This!

KISS Army awaits.

I'm off to the KISS show at Staples with Woods. I'm sure it's going to be a sea of rodeo clowns drunk on moonshine from the remote areas of Los Angeles. Hopefully they don't sniff out our faggot asses and try to start some shit, because I'll just have to represent some of my ghetto heritage. And that wouldn't be too ladylike of me. Or would it?

Desert Be Gone

Praise be!

I am happy to be back in Los Angeles!

Tucson was cute, but some events turned the cuteness into sour grapes - and not the good kind that you could make into an alcoholic beverage.

Insert sad face here.

Whip It With Emphasis On The H

This spud is all ready for the first of two sold out nights of DEVO at the Henry Fonda Theater. Unfortunately, I couldn't locate a embedded video to post so in lieu of that I will include a photo of the infamous DEVO Energy Dome!

Costumed Leftovers

This is what my GHOULfriends and I had to offer for Halloween this year...

Clockwise from top: Boozie The Clown took on Toxic Waist (the infamous look from the inaugural night of Mr. Black LA); Toxic Waist tried Gonorrhea on for size, and color! (catapulting you directly back to Raya Light's engrossing Trannyshack LA's NYE "Single Ladies" performance - and btw, it's correctly pronounced Guh-nor-rhea!); and Gonorrhea faced her fears head on while sporting the vaginal side of Boozie The Clown.

The Night No One Comes Home

Here's to another Halloween!

Let's start the evening off with a trailer from one of the most bizarre and under appreciated films from the 1980's...



Now that I am raring to go, please pray that I get through this day without wanting to go all Jason Vorhees on some hetero-douchebag's ass at the West Hollywood Halloween Carnival.

Woe Is Me: HP Vs. Vista

Ah hells nah!

That was my reaction when my laptop took a nose dive. Yup, it finally fell into the shitter. Well, not literally of course, but it did somewhat die on me a few weeks back. I couldn't log onto the internet - either with a wireless or with a cable connection (hence: no blogspot post). I couldn't fix the problem as I had no means of logging online. I didn't even have a reboot disc as sneaky HP didn't provide one when the laptop was purchased. Oh, that is what I consider a lesson learned... as now I will always request a reboot disc when getting a new desktop/laptop that has the operating system pre-installed.

*sigh*

So anyway, long story short (too late, huh?), HP sent me a Windows Vista reboot disc for the price tag of 20-something dollars/give or take. Honestly, it wasn't all that bad since it arrived at my doorstep within a few days (from India - just kidding), but the fact that they didn't provide one upon purchase just "grinds my gears". Argh.

Well, the laptop is up & running - minus the wireless. Yes, it's true. Even with the reboot disc, I still do not have wireless capabilities. Is it Vista, HP, or the flippin' Broadcom card/driver? Who the hell knows, but I will continue to do my best to find the answer. I just have to hook the laptop to a dedicated internet cable connection for the time being.

Since I have been using the cable connection at Woods' desk, we both discussed the possibility of running a cable to my desk.... in the other bedroom. So next week, we will tackle that chore. Fun awaits underneath the house! *sarcastic tone*

I can hardly wait until next year when I will be long into employment, and I have my very own Mac desktop. I do plan on acquiring Windows 7 for this laptop. I will banish all things Vista once Microsoft gets off their asses to unleash Win 7 on the world. Sadly, Microsoft is no longer my favorite OS thanks to this Vista fiasco, but I quite enjoy my HP, so I will compromise and keep this laptop with Win 7 installed. The mobility of a laptop is just too precious to squander. I just hope that Microsoft doesn't drop the ball on Win 7 like they did with Vista. But if they do, I honestly would not be surprised.

Beware Of The Trolls: Potbellied Edition

Oh, what an evening. I'm rather worked up at the moment. And not in the good way.

The night started off with a speedy workout at the gym. So far so good.

Woods and I attended DRRRAMA!! at The Standard's Purple Lounge in the breeder section of West Hollywood (a/k/a The Sunset Strip). Going well so far.

Got to see my Dragstrip girlfriend Esmeralda hosting the door with my occasional homegirl Maxine. Visually feasted on trannies, club kids, and freaks galore. Happiness consumes me while watching two childrens from the House of Xtravaganza work the floor - Jason was literally serving it & Hector werked the gold velvet VIP rope like no other. Good. Good. Good.

Post 2am, Woods and I dip our wicks at Vaseline Alley. Getting better.

Woods runs off with Latino sidedish while I ended up watching (insert Generic West Hollywood White Bread "Bro" Type here) getting sucked off by (insert VA-regular Greedy Latino Cockpig) - all while my jeans happened to be pushed down to my ankles. I was "keeping myself busy". Ahem. Not bad.

Four post-bar attendees get into the voyeurism action as well. I find one of them attractive, the others... eh, pass. Possibility of this scene going south: huge. Worries begin.

Generic West Hollywood White Bread "Bro" type totally flipped the script and was all up in my business. I guess she liked big Latin cock because she moved away from VA-regular Greedy Latino Cockpig and dropped to her knees in front of me. Color me surprised. Nice.

This is where the events turned ugly.

Three of the four watchers (the three I didn't fancy of course) turned the mood ring from a horned-up-in-public green to a i'm-going-to-kick-you-in-the-muthafuckin'-teeth red. BFD-staple Loud Mouth'd Butterball, Dark Grandpa In Hat, & Asian Business Wear Man broke out in a fever over all of the shenanigans that they began to cause commotions in efforts to gobble up Generic West Hollywood White Bread "Bro" Type's cock. So not cool. Peoples where pushed, hands were shushed away, and vibes were broken. Bad, bad, bad.

I pulled up my pants and quite obviously motioned "let's go somewhere else" with my eyes to Generic West Hollywood White Bred "Bro" Type, but that bitch got spooked. And rightfully so. I don't blame her as I was unnerved my damn self. She got in her (insert economic & environmentally safe vehicle) and called it a night. I walked back up the street in order to regain my thoughts. I know that if I hadn't, I would have found those three turds and put a hurt on all of them.

Moments later, Woods appearing with that familiar calming look on his face. Mmmhmmm.

Woods and I hung out in a dark corner for a while as I scanned the remains. I plotted my revenge on one said little pudgy scene stealer - BFD-staple Loud Mouth'd Butterball. He was the real culprit in destroying what could have been a good situation. That asshole. With his small meaty fingers. And that horrible carnivorous mouth - nothing splendid comes out of that thing. Nothing. And from what I could tell, nothing other than food goes in it.

While entertaining the thought what it would be like to truly show him pain, Woods and I were cruised quite heavily by a drunken couple of Generic West Hollywood White Bread "Bro" Types Who Are Actually Quite Effeminate - one of them should be listed as Generic West Hollywood White Bread "Bro" Types Who Are Actually Quite Effeminate (Smoker). They lingered around us at this point and that point, playing with their junk, showing their assets. But again, that hefty roll of a man crashed the party. Sigh.

The boys went to their cars and high-tailed it. Woods and I followed suit. But at least the boys grabbed our packages as they walked by to their car. From the looks on their faces, they seemed happily shocked. BFD-staple Loud Mouth'd Butterball was just steps behind them. Upon passing, that queen had the gall to attempt a grab of his own by copping a feel onto Woods' significant bulge... only to be swatted by Woods. Of course that didn't phase Donut Thighs (oh, that's a new one!), because she went right back just seconds later. That greedy aggressive oompa-loompa. Yuck.

As I drove back down the street afterwards, I looked hard for BFD-staple Loud Mouth'd Butterball/Donut Thighs. I so wanted to run him down with the car, but I began to reach a state of tranquility - thank you Depeche Mode's soothing single "Peace". There would be no manslaughter tonight. But if I ever set eyes on that annoyingly swollen head of his again, I will have to hold myself back as I have a feeling my right fist will find it's way to his face.

Or at the very least, a nasty little read worthy to be from the lips of a bitter drag queen. Ahem.

I'm Good, I'm Gone... Yes, You Are Blanche

I'm a little disappointed right now due to the fact that I got to the Lykke Li show on the late side and missed the song I wanted to hear. To be honest, I know that it's not anything of significant importance. I'm just feeling a bit low. It doesn't help as I tend to over analyzed these types of situations.

I was looking forward to the concert this evening as the past few times she has come through LA I wasn't able to obtain tickets due to the numerous sold out statuses. So this time was to be different. The tickets were got weeks in advance and for mere duckets at that - only $5 (before fees) thanks to CitiBank.

Now today was one of those types of days that nothing went as planned so I can't be too surprised that I ended up somewhat bummed out - and for tardiness (but not really). See Woods and I have been doing much better arriving to shows "on time" (before the headlining performer) so tonight's situation threw me off. Lady Li was on at 9:40pm. The usual time for headliners to hit the stage at The Wiltern have been about 10pm and beyond. So by us getting there at about 9:55pm was going to be good. Wrong.

I just wish the venues would post the set times like the Troubadour does. I hate how the promoters hide shit like this. Why can't you say, "Doors at..." with a "Show at..." and stick to it. Not some generic time that actually means "Doors at...", but have you thinking "Show at...". What I mean is when you have tickets that say (insert headlining act's name, 8pm). No door info, nothing. But you come to find out when you get there, 8pm means "Doors at..." with the show at 9pm or so. Bastards.

It's all about alcohol sales. I get it. But Woods and I avoid all of that bullshit of hanging out until who we want to see by arriving closer to the headlining act's time. And it avoids me having to deal with the douchebags surrounding us when we go to these shows, because those d-bags love them show live shows. Oh the times I have almost gotten into fights. Sigh.

I'm over it. I'll have to catch her next time she rolls through. But I'll make sure I'm up to speed on my lezbot hipster wear, because damn, it was total Booby Trap in that bitch tonight. Love it.

Hangover Central

The room is spinning right now. I'm on the verge of a vomit session. Oh, the magic of alcohol.

I wish I could say that last night was a complete memory loss, but I can't. I remember just about all of it. Not that it is bad to recall what happened last evening/this morning, but I am severely paying for it today.

Woods and I decided to head out to Rock N Roll Drag Bar at legendary lesbo bar The Palms. Not knowing what the night had in store for us, Woods decided it would be a good idea to begin the night with a round of Patron shots. Ok, ok, it was MY idea, but he went along with it.

You know what? The mere detailing of last night's events are quite headaching. Let me give you the Cliffs Notes version...

3 Patron shots
2 Coronas
Drunken chit chat with bartender
Wounds healed with Double H
Drunken chats with "the cool kids"
Underwear Afterparty
Street clothes hit the floor
3 or 4 MGDs
More drunken chats
Make-out sessions
Grinding
Hands down underwear
Bathroom antics
Blow Jobs
Nudity
Rimming
Floppiness
Re-dress
Driving home (memory fades)
Waking up next morning (ahem, afternoon) with one extra person in bed

Now that is how you do it! But the end result is, shall we say, not so cute. Me nursing a hangover is not pretty. And neither is spewing chunks onto a laptop so I'm heading back to bed. Oy.

"I'm never drinking again!"

NO MA'AM

It's crap like this that makes me happy I'm a flaming homosexual...

From the Yahoo home page:

Dating Tips: 9 Simple Things Women Want

Besides the meaning of life and the ingredients of hot dogs, many a man has questioned, "What exactly do women want?" We're not playing coy here, we know we're complex creatures. And, true, we operate on a different wavelength than men.

But women aren't exactly the great mystery that men often make us out to be. The proof? We polled the YourTango staff and compiled a list of 9 simple things women want. Note: you won't find diamond rings or other fancy things anywhere on this list. While many women really do want luxury goods from men, when you break it down they are just physical representations of some of the points on this list. We promise.

1. Respect. Show us through your actions that you respect our opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies, and minds. You don't have to agree with all that we say or do, but try to honor our opinions as valuable contributions. Follow the golden rule and treat us as you would like to be treated: Be honest, fair, kind, and considerate.

2. Romance. It's another night on the couch with takeout and TiVo? Just because we're staying in doesn't mean the evening can't be romantic. Light a few candles and see where the night leads. Treat us like your girlfriend, even after we become your wife. Date nights, physical affection in the car, kissing like when we first started dating -- all of the things that made us fall in love with you don't have to stop just because now there are bills to pay, a house to be cleaned, and kids to be bathed. Bring home flowers for no reason. We're not talking $100 bouquets of roses here. Even the $10 bouquets from the supermarket are enough to make us smile.

3. Time. We understand relationships can't be all wine and roses; simply making the time to be with us and treating us like your top priority says "love" more than all the fancy gifts and lovely letters ever could. This includes helping around the house. The realities of a 21st-century relationship are that both partners probably work. If you happen to get home before we do, why not vacuum the living room or throw in a load of laundry? If you take the garbage out without being asked, chances are you'll be getting a big ole smooch when you come back.

4. Dinner. Of the homemade variety. You may not be good at cooking and you may not know how to boil water. But greeting us at the door after a long day with fish sticks (or whatever you can wrastle up) makes us swoon, because it shows that you've been thinking about us and our hectic day.

5. Communication. Women are vocal creatures. We know you love us, but it's nice to hear you say it, too. We can also be insecure. We wish we weren't, but the reality is that we often notice our wobbly thighs and forget about our gorgeous eyes. So let us know when you think we're hot. Tell us we're beautiful. It helps us feel good. Words of appreciation aren't half-bad either. Tell us you love the lasagna we made. Notice that we cleaned the bathtub. It doesn't have to be over the top, just let us know that you see the effort we put in, and you're grateful.

6. Consistency. This doesn't mean be boring and predictable. It means that we know you will (usually -- no one is perfect!) give us the love and support we need. Knowing that you're coming at this with the same desires and energy as we are goes a long way to making us feel secure.

7. Engagement. Of the mental kind, not the "I'm getting married in the morning" kind. You don't have to like everything we like (we might be a little concerned if you do), but showing interest in our passions, be it career-related, a sport, or a hobby, goes a long way. Listen when we talk to you. We're not speaking just so we can hear our own voice; we want to connect with you and this is one valuable way we do this. This also means paying attention to the little things. Whether it's the name of your best friend's husband or the fact that you hate Nicolas Cage movies, it's the little things you remember about us that's so endearing.

8. Humor and Humility. These two tend to go hand in hand. This doesn't mean that you have to crack jokes or entertain us, but just being able to laugh at yourself is enough. Guys who take themselves too seriously bring everyone down.

9. Challenge. Not the kind that makes a relationship constant work, but the good kind that surprises and motivates us to do, be, or achieve what we desire. Studies show that partners who prod each other to meet goals -- in other words, don't support lazy or bad habits -- are ultimately happier than those who don't hold each other accountable.

I'm not saying that all women are like this, or expect this kind of attention, but a good chunk of the female population do as I have been around women all my life - dating them (yes, I did swim in the hetero pool at one point), hanging with them, observing them and living with them. After reading this filth, I am very proud that I don't have to wine and dine to get some ass, lie about "love", or play the games associated with heterosexual courtship. The joys of being an old school gay. I wish the new school gays didn't want to be so heterosexual-like, because soon there will be articles like this one regaring the gay dating scene. Vomit.

The Silence Of July

Oh my, where has the time gone? The entire month of July has seemed like a blur. As did the months of May and June. And while these months have just seemed to pass by, I thought I was going to keep this blog space current. Silly me. And sillier me for using the phrase "fly by" on both posts for May and June - well, same meaning, just different ways I tossed it up.

The month of July provided some of the best events this year. My mom visited LA during the weekend of July 4th for Trannyshack Vs. Shits N Giggles & Chico's Angels. BJ was also here that weekend. As well as Raya who performed at Trannyshack. Memories were made, alcohol was consumed, brownies were eaten. Overall it was a good weekend.

The weeks that followed included Dragstrip66, a trip to Tucson, San Diego Pride, my legs being thrown up in the air for Woods' birthday, witnessing The House Of Xtravaganza at Mustache Mondays, No Doubt at the Gibson, and a visit from some buddies up from SD to celebrate one of their bdays. The parties just never stop here in Tinsel Town.

The icing on the cake for July was experiencing Miss Grace Jones at the Hollywood Bowl. Needless to say that it was fag central. Who's who of gay nightlife was there. I truly hope Lady Jones makes another stop in the LA area soon because I am still in awe of the night, and I would love to bring my mom out here to see her.

I look forward to August as I am actively looking for work and/or getting in rolled in school. I am supposed to head out on a road trip with Timofy for his relocation to New Mexico from California - but as time passes on, it looks like the "trip" will be another one of Timofy's bullshit attempts at planning that only will land him on my Shit List, yet again. Whatever. I'm over it.

BK, I Love You

Thank heaven for Burger King's Coke Icees. Otherwise I would be a raving bitch. All of the time that is.

I was quite annoyed moments ago. A flurry of different reasons: not feeling well, not succeeding at completeling the tasks I had set out to finish today, getting a late start, not killing all of the damn flies in the house. All of that plus the fact that I didn't get to the gym until past 9pm. The gym issue was a big deal as they close at 10pm on Fridays. That lead me too "hurry up" my workout. I'm not a big fan of rushing, but I have become quite used to it. Damn me for being a procrastionator! Regardless, by the time 10 o'clock rolled around, I was two short of a full day of excercises. Insert groan here.

Luckily on the way home, we stopped at BK for some ice cold lovin' - all thanks to the Woodsman.

Alas, tomorrow is a new day but first, tonight will be filled with insanity as LadyJ is in town with WilSHINE. I'm about to jump in the shower, get myself all dolled up, and trollup my ass down over to WeHo to meet them and hopefully RA. Good times await.

Y'know what would be a totally good with this frozen Coke? Tequila. Fuck yeas.

Microsoft No More!

Fuck you Microsoft!

I am officially over it. I hate Windows Vista! I have now decided that I will no longer deal with this Windows bullshit. I am moving over to Apple as soon as I can.

For the past year I have dealt with this golden turd know as Vista. It's been a roller coaster of emotions attempting to get the wireless to work correctly. I've come extremely close to literally throwing the laptop against the wall. I am so not kidding about that. On any given day, you could have walked into my room and find me yelling obscenities to the screen.

For some odd reason, Vista doesn't like to work with the AT&T wireless we have set up here in the house. Hell, it doesn't like to work with any wireless for that matter. At first, I thought it was the laptop as I had problems with the wireless card last fall. HP did drop the ball with that, but they were gracious enough to fix the issue. But the problems didn't seem to lie there. Sure the wireless card needed to be replaced, but as time went on I soon discovered that I was beginning to have serious issues with connectivity.

Now I've done plenty of in-depth research on this subject. The most common explanation that I have found was that the majority of the internet connectivity issues are Vista based. What the fuck? Are you kidding me? Of course, Microsoft doesn't take any responsibility for this.

I thought of rolling my laptop back to Windows XP, but to my disappointment I could not as HP was not supporting any of the XP drivers - only Vista! MicroSHAFT sure has their fists lodged deep in HP's rectum.

So after numerous attempts to fix the problem, I have come to the same conclusion millions of people have already come to - Windows Vista is a total piece of shit. And thanks to this realization, I have given in to the cult known as Mac. Yes, I am hoping by year's end, I will have myself a brand new Mac desktop with all of the fixings.

I say down with Microsoft, up with Apple. Kiss my brown ass Bill Gates!

The Silence Of June

Well June just flew by. I was kept busy with LA Pride starring Sister Stella Virgin, Rog, Edwina, RA, & Woods; Raya's ascend on LA via the AIDS Lifecycle; the missed DB Party; countless shows - Bat For Lashes + Adele + Aretha Franklin to name a few; and dealing with being unwell the majority of the month. I felt there wasn't much time left to blog. A bullshit excuse and I know it.

The one thing that I did manage to comes to term with, and able to turn around, was the fact that I was beating myself up - physically and mentally. I was staying up for days on end, not sleeping. Occasionally eating only one meal a day. I was a complete mess.

I knew what was the wrong with me and decided to get honest with myself. I sat down and did some mediation to figure this shit out. The result was having a long talk with Woods and taking the necessary steps to correcting the issues.

And how are things now? Great. I am now finally feeling responsible. I'm not staying up at all hours of the night, not wasting time, eating three-ish meals a day, getting ample amounts of sleep, waking up at a decent hour, finishing chores, and so forth. I am quite happy.

Now I can look forward to July. Next month will bring my mom visiting for Trannyshack Vs. Shits N' Giggles & Chico's Angels. BJ & Raya will also be here. A quick trip to Tucson (delivery of goods) & San Diego (SD Pride). And I will finally get to see Grace Jones in person at the Hollywood Bowl. You can certainly say that I am quite excited... as long as Miss Jones shows up to the show!

Star Trek: The Alumni

I'm not a Trekkie by any means, but I do want to see the new Star Trek. Hopefully it will happen soon.

During all of the promotion for the new film, Yahoo released this article that I found quite amusing...

Kirstie Alley
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan - 1982
Before she started on "Cheers," Alley was Lieutenant Saavik, a Vulcan recruit on her first mission.

Whoopi Goldberg
"Star Trek: The Next Generation" - 1988-1993
Goldberg appeared as Guinan the bartender on TV and in the movie Star Trek: Generations.

Teri Hatcher
"Star Trek: The Next Generation" - 1988
Hatcher played of Lt. Robinson in the episode "The Outrageous Okona" that also featured Joe Piscopo.

Nikki Cox
"Star Trek: The Next Generation" - 1989
11-year-old Cox was covered in orange makeup to play the alien Sarjenka in the episode "Pen Pals."

Kim Cattrall
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country - 1991
Cattrall's role as a turncoat Lt. Valeris was originally written to be Kirstie Alley's character from "Khan."

Ashley Judd
"Star Trek: The Next Generation" - 1991
Judd appeared in two episodes as Ensign Robin Lefler, which lead to her first on-screen kiss.

Kirsten Dunst
"Star Trek: The Next Generation" - 1993
Dunst was 11 years old when played a telepathic alien named Hedril in the episode "Dark Page."

Sarah Silverman
"Star Trek: Voyager" - 1996
The sharp-tongued comedienne played a 20th century alien researcher in a two-part episode.

Vanessa Williams
"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" - 1996
Williams was a native of the "pleasure planet" Risa in the episode "Let He Who Is Without Sin..."

Andy Dick
"Star Trek: Voyager" - 1998
This off-kilter comic played a holographic doctor EMH Mark II in the episode "Message in a Bottle".

The Silence Of May

The month of May has seemed to fly right past me. I’ve been in another state of limbo the entire 30 days. It’s like I’ve been zombiefied. I feel as if an entity has taken over my entire being – keeping me at a distance, feeling like a lost soul.

Despite this overbearing feeling, I did manage to work on the dining room. I prepped the area, painted the ceiling & walls, and now I will tackle the trim beginning tomorrow. I am quite pleased with my accomplishment, or shall I say my accomplishment so far. The goal is to have the entire room completed by Friday. Fingers crossed.

I’ve had dips in the social arena throughout the month… I ventured to the “Drag Me To Hell” premiere at the Chinese Theater, then went to another free screening of “Drag Me To Hell”… shh, don’t tell Universal!. I also witnessed LadyE’s graduation, finally got to see The Prodigy live (without Psycho – sad face), as well as Lady Sovereign, Ann Magnuson, and skewred the faglets at Long Beach Pride – don’t get me started on that Jazmine Sullivan performance (fucking Hip Hop DJs).

All in all, it was a nice month. I do wish I had been more alert. I guess I can add alertness to the list of things I would like to work on for the month of June. Yay.

Size Triple F

I love me some Dolly Parton. She comes across very sweet and good natured. And she doesn't take herself seriously at all. Especially when it is concerning her well known rack!

And I love me some 9 To 5 - the movie AND the musical. I grew up with the movie, and I saw the musical during it pre-Broadway run here in Los Angeles. Such a homo am I.

Upon my YouTube surfings, I stumbled upon Lady Parton conversing with those hens over at The View (sorry Whoopi & Joy) about the new 9 To 5: The Musical that just hit Broadway. Now if I ever go to New York, I might just see that show again. Homo am I times two.

Thank God It's Friday With Yet Another Issue Regarding Freedom

I've wasted the day today. It's almost 5pm and I haven't done anything considerably productive. I did clean out about 30% of useless crap from one of my Yahoo e-mail accounts which took me about 2.5 hours to complete. I'm quite happy about that doing that. Otherwise I feel I've just completely misused an opportunity to continue one of the projects I was working on yesterday.

I went to bed annoyed last night so I woke up in quite a funk this morning. I had laid in bed with my thoughts this morning for quite a long time before physically getting up. I so did not want to begin the day. When I finally did, I jumped into my e-mail. It honestly helped to clear my head. Funny how mundane tasks like that can help you overcome some kind of issue you may have.

I was quite irked with Woods last night. It all stemmed from some issues regarding misunderstood comments, cockblocking, and personal space. I see things a certain way, and obviously Woods views them another. I referred to the problem as being "big brother-ish". I was almost going to say "big daddy-ish", but I refrained from using such a cunty remark. I sometimes feel that I am constantly being watched, evaluated, and sized up. This is what I felt was the direct case last night.

See individualism is very important to me. As is a sense of freedom and personal expression. If I feel that is being compromised, then I have a tendency to rebel. I am not quite fond of anyone constantly being attached to my hip. Or vice versa. And variety is key. What I may like on one day, is not what I may like on another.

This has been an ongoing concern over the past few years. It has gotten to the point where I find myself making quite obvious attempts to separate myself from him at times. It can be quite hard when we are constantly together. I would say that the majority of my time is spent with him... say about 80%, and the time that I am in the vicinity of him is close to 100%. Even when I am not doing the same thing he is, he is the other room, next shower stall, next swimming lane, in the webcam room watching me, and so on. I guess you can say that I feel smothered.

I told him last night that it is my issue, and I'll drop it. To be honest, it is. Mainly because I haven't done anything about it. I have no friends in the local area other than Woods. And when I have made attempts they usually fall flat due to numerous reasons that could be reserved for another post. Yet another whiny post. Boo-hoo.

What I am saying is, for once I would like it to be just Whip. I know, how selfish. And yes I am. At the same time, I honestly do love my time with Woods. We are a perfect match. He is my number one. But regardless of that reason, I still need time that is not at the eyes of Woods. I am not sure he understands that. Not sure he ever will. All I can do is continue to work on the problem at hand, on my own identity, and make myself happy. I don't feel I need to work on my communication with Woods, or make him realize how important he is to me... he should know that by now.

What we both need to work on is finding our own distinctive entity because I am afraid that if this problem isn't resolved soon, then I will end up pushing him away. And that is not what I want.

Not Quite Wildness

Unfortunately I didn't make it over to Wildness last evening because my bitch ass was asleep by 11pm. I really wanted to go, but apparently my body was barking orders at me to get some shuteye. And I rightfully did... a whopping 11 hours of beauty rest - lawd knows I needed it.

Tonight is the Selene Luna & Nadya Ginsburg show at the Cavern Club Theatre in Silverlake. I will definitely be attending that. It's on the earlier side with a showtime of 8pm in comparison to Wildness where the usual performance begins sometime around 12:30am. I love me some late night entertainment, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find the energy to stay up late everynight. At least it's a win-win situation with this evening's plans... one great show + two bowls of Albondigas post show = pure heaven.

Recovering Tuesdays

Last night I ventured down to Mustache Mondays with Woods to visually feast on the usual hipsters, queens, lezbots, and all those stuck in-between. But the main course for the evening was to check out The Girl Is Tough, who was visiting from Mexico (Swine Flu!), and the one & only House Of Xtravaganza. As always, Hector and his crew did not disappoint.

I haven't been out to MM in a while, not since BJ was visiting actually, so I haven't been exposed to any of the new club lingo/fashions/bullshit/tunes of late. To my surprise Hector Xtravaganza worked the crowd to Chelley's "Took The Night" - a banging new (as in new for me anyway) club anthem that is quite reminiscent of the songs used back in the old school vogueing days.

While researching the song online, I came across this...



Holy shit, that queen on the right is serving it up! WORK!

Personal mental thought: that queen looks like a PBDA (Pudgy Big Dick'd Asian) from my gym. Only he has a highly spruced up hair do that just screams out loud "oh-yes-I-did-bitch!"

Anyway, tonight is all about Wildness. I'm going to text Army to see if he wants to attend. Woods is confirmed. We are going to pop in for a bit to take a gander at Alice Cunt's performance. She told me last night when I saw her at MM to bring a flashlight, and something metal to bang on. Oh my, this should be quite interesting.

Yawnchella + The Same Old Tired Connection

Last night was a bust. Ok, not completely, but I ended up calling it a night much earlier than I had anticipated.

The plan was to hit the gym, come home to eat dinner, then saunter over to the grand re-opening of Hot Dog. I was able to successfully complete an upper-body work out in about 45 minutes despite the fact I arrived at 7:30pm. I was shooting to arrive at the gym no later than 6pm. Damn facial hair. But at least arriving at that time it allowed me to be witness to a rather quick show (*cough*) in the shower area from a fellow gym go-er. That lead to what I like to call “shower speak” after once he finished himself off. He smiled at me, giggled, then asked me from across the shower bay what I was doing the upcoming evening. I told him I was going out with friends. As he exited his stall, he dried off right in front of me, sneaking in looks of my man goodies every chance he got. As he left, he smiled again, added a head nod and I reciprocated. A craigslist missed connection? Highly unlikely.

Onto to the second part of the evening which included dinner that was made up from leftovers. Add a romp through DVR Land, and you have the makings of a happy Whip.

Sadly, it all came to a halt after the food sank in. As Woods feel asleep, I got a bit lagged myself, but I was determined not to fall under the “food coma” spell. I did my best from closing my eyes, but by the time midnight rolled around, I didn’t have it in me to get all jazzed up for a night out on the town. I guess I will have to wait until next weekend to explore my social observations. *sigh*

On the flip side, something quite lovely has happened. My stomach issues have seemed to settle down, my headaches are not as frequent, and I was able to last the entire day without wanting to sneak in a nap. It feels like my schedule is finally turning around. I was even in bed by 3am. I would have been in bed much sooner, but I had some prior commitments I needed to honor before laying my head down.

Regardless of the new refreshing schedule, the lurkings from technology’s deepest corners still seems to be with us...

Ah yes, another day without an internet connection. The beginnings of a pattern I do not like. Unfortunately I cannot call to complain as I am not listed on the bill. I don’t like to nag, but I’ve whined to Woods numerous times to phone AT&T and ask to speak to a supervisor. This is unacceptable on AT&T’s end. My question is “why would you pay for a service that is becoming more and more unreliable?”

When BJ was staying here, we had trouble with the cable for close to three weeks. No one bothered to call AT&T. And this type of internet connection disturbance is now considered routine. It’s like clockwork. You can count on it happening at least three to four times a month. I am so not impressed with this FIOS bullshit.

Oh, how I miss the cable modem.

I feel slightly odd bitching about the service as I don’t actually pay for it. Hopefully once I have safely landed a steady job, I will be able to contribute my earnings to the pot. Then I will be able to let loose the fury when I am unhappy with the way it is rolling out. I just get really worked up in these types of situations.

So I guess I’m stuck with having to head over to the Larchmont to use the shotty Wi-Fi at Peet’s or Coffee Bean. What an inconvenience. On the bright side, maybe I will be able to spot Diane Keaton in her clunky work boots shimmering around the village. Gorge.

One Day At A Time...

I'm fuming right now.

*meditation*

The main reason why I'm so upset is the past week has been complete shit. To be honest, it's been mostly a blur due to the fact that I have been trying to rearrange my sleep schedule. I'm doing my best to get my body used to going to bed no later than 2am, then being up sometime between 8am and 10am. This may sound frivolous, but considering the hours I have kept over the past few years, this has been seriously hard on me.

I've felt like a zombie all week. I've been coming in and out of consciousness as I slept the majority of the days. I've skipped meals and workouts... not to mention other responsibilities I had. I feel so out of touch. And that enrages me. I hate not being in control.

I do know that this rearrangement will benefit me in the long run. I can't continue to keep the schedule I have become accustomed to if I want to get back to work/school and make progress here at home. The sleeping regiment I have had was not healthy so I needed to take action.

I can tell that my body is having a hard time adjusting to the new regiment thanks to the many aches and pains I have experienced over the past 48 hours. My stomach is on full roller coaster mode. My muscles are weak. My head has been pounding at various times of the day. By no means exciting. But I have to get through it. I keep reminding myself what my goals are. And those are my number one priority.

Wow, I sound like a drug addict in a 12 step program.

As I look out my window, I see that it is a gorgeous day. I am deciding on a plan of attack. I have laundry to finish, papers to sort, and a bathroom to clean. And once I am done with that, I will tackle the closest, bedroom, and dining room. So much to accomplish, so little time. But I know I can do it. But once I begin the process, the possibilities are endless.

Now if I can just get over the fact that I lost a much sought after item I physically won on eBay because of the fucking internet connection that has been down, then I will progress just fine. But I can still be pissed at AT&T for their constant screw-ups with the cable and internet. If one of their employees was here, I would gladly slap the taste out of their mouth.

*mediation*

The Sunshine Has Returned!

Today's forecast: 98 degrees here at the house. And since the city limits of Los Angeles is typically 10 degrees warmer than the beach, particularly Santa Monica that is, that means only one thing: time to lay out!

I'm just minutes away from heading out to Santa Monica Beach. It's damn hot today, and I am loving it. I cannot wait until the summer to begin so I can spend my free time hanging out at the beach. I've spent too much time here in California not enjoying the coast line. So this year, one of my goals is to take in as much of the beach as I can.

I'm off to work on that Speedo tan line - what a fucking homo I am! Here's to hoping that I don't return with a sunburn.

*crosses fingers*

Me Finished With April 18th

Me had a wonderful day.

Me enjoyed SoCal Zombie Walk in the morning.

Me absolutely loved Fangoria Weekend Of Horrors.

Me thankful for having a buddy to share the experience of FWOH.

Me has new respect for Clive Barker.

Me totally impressed with Ashley Laurence.

Me has sad face that me didn't get a chance to actually have a full work out at the gym.

Me has a bit of a frown due to "certain issues".

Me knows for a fact that the "certain issues" will repair themselves within a couple days.

Me a bit upset that me got cockblocked at gym.

Me shouts "fuck you trolls".

Me happy that me got to see LadyA.

Me pleased with "Laid To Rest".

Me gitty that the screening of "Laid To Rest" was complimentary.

Me quite exhausted.

Me thinking of what to do next.

Me is contemplating on having a light snack.

Me is actually ready to call it a night.

Me has trouble with the decision because me kind of wants a bit of food in his tummy.

Me tells himself to "hurry up & finalize it fucker!".

Me reaches a conclusion.

Me heads off to bed now.

Macca Vs. Leatherface

Normally I would have been in the Palm Springs area right now getting myself ready to head over to the Empire Polo Fields to begin a three day binge of live musical acts, frozen lemonades infused with smuggled-in Stoli, and loaded baked potatoes from Señor Corn at the notoriously over-hyped Coachella music festival. But due to my status of unemployment, I am not able to attend this year.

All is not lost tho as I will more than likely have the chance to see the majority of the scheduled acts I would have enjoyed to see there at the festival here in my home turf of Los Angeles. It seems that this city is a definite pit stop for any well-known, and not-so-well-known, performers from all over the globe. Especially if they want to make a splash in America. Living in the entertainment capital of the world has its perks.

And speaking of perks, me not going to Coachella has opened up a door that I have been lusting to explore for many, many years. Since I am in town this weekend, I will FINALLY be able to attend the Fangoria Weekend Of Horrors that takes place downtown beginning this afternoon. Granted I will only be going for one day tomorrow, but that will provide me with enough horror-loving good times to keep me happy for weeks to come. Talk about a silver lining.

I have been a lover of horror films since I was a young lad. I remember watching "A Nightmare On Elm Street" and the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" with both of my parents when I was a kid. I was fortunate to have parents that embraced all facets of my personality. I was obsessed with anything related to the macabre - from the Halloween holiday, to gore films, to Elvira - it was completely fine with them.

Altho I will admit, as a child I hated the look of legendary rock band KISS - don't ask me why, I just did. Any photos of Gene Simmons in face scared the shit out of me. You would think for someone into watching a movie where zombies chew through a victim's rib cage KISS would be on the low end of the freak out factor. Nope. I was terrified anytime I laid eyes on photos of that group. Hell, just ask my mom about that time I ran out of Sam Goody's because of a KISS group standee back in the early 80's. Regardless, my fear of them changed when I hit my teens. I guess the development of pubic hair allowed me to get over my anxiety. Yay for me.

Anyhoo, as I prepare myself to soak in all that awaits tomorrow I say "fuck you Coachella with your hipsters, hippies, and b-rate celebs... even you Sir Paul McCartney - that asswipe", and "hello fan-boys, gore-geeks, goth-wannabes, and those who believe they are real life zombies... I can't wait to party with all of you freaks!".

How Much For That Puppy In The Window?

I want to know what in the hell those crazy bastards at PETA are smoking, drinking, or snorting. After I read the article I have listed down below, I wondered to myself just how mentally unbalanced are those folk over at every one's favorite animal rights advocacy group. Seriously, I honestly want to know.

Pet Shop Boys spurn rescue shelter remix

LONDON (AFP) – Electro-pop pioneers Pet Shop Boys turned down a request from animal rights group PETA Europe to adopt a more creature-friendly name, the band revealed on their website Thursday.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals suggested Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe rename themselves Rescue Shelter Boys to draw attention to the plight of animals raised in pet shops.

"Dear Neil and Chris, You have many loyal fans of the Pet Shop Boys here at PETA. Will you please consider changing your name from the Pet Shop Boys to the Rescue Shelter Boys?" pleaded a letter to the group from Yvonne Taylor, PETA's special projects manager.

"Most dogs and cats sold in pet shops are sourced from profit-hungry breeders who may have bred them in cramped, filthy conditions.

"For every bird who reaches a pet shop, three others have died during capture, confinement and transportation.

"Hamsters, mice and other rodents are often bred by the pet shops themselves, leading to inbreeding, genetic weaknesses, physical deformities and behavioral disorders.

"By agreeing to change your name to the Rescue Shelter Boys, you would help raise awareness about the cruelty involved in the pet trade and encourage your millions of fans to consider giving a home to an abandoned or unwanted animal from an animal shelter. So, what do you say?"

The pair, whose hits include "West End Girls", It's a Sin" and "Suburbia" declined the request, claiming they were "unable to agree," but said it "raises an issue worth thinking about.

I'm all for treating animals with respect, but are you fucking kidding me? Am I not aware that merely speaking the group name Pet Shop Boys invokes some kind of subliminal message?

I think PETA is scrapping the bottom of the barrel here. Maybe they need to focus their energy on making a bigger impact through education rather than spending precious time sending out a bullshit request like this one to PSB. I think their efforts would be better suited that way, instead of always trying to get themselves in the entertainment news. Sounds like their PR train is losing it's steam. Finally.

Peeps This!

Happy Zombie Jesus Day!

Toxic Waist was out in full force last night at Dragstrip complete with an Easter basket. She was accompanied by Woods - who was channeling the Folsom Street Fair circa 2008 with an addition of a terrifying dungeon mask. Some Dragstrippers got wet by it, while others ran for the hills in fear of getting spanked. Definitely hot either way you slice it.

You can judge for yourselves right here...


Now that I got my much needed 12 hours of beauty rest, it's time to color some eggs. And by coloring eggs, I mean vegging out by eating dinner in front of the television while watching the last few Season 1 episodes of Dexter. And for the record, I have no interest in coloring, hiding, or hunting for eggs. Toxic Waist did all three of those things last night. That slag.

Bust Out The Lavender Hanky

Be there tonight.


Why? Because Toxic Waist says "Fuck The White Party!".

Realness

All I can say is "wow".

Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.

There is no other word I can think of to express my emotion regarding last night's opening of Canden Mason/Big Art Group's latest work "SOS".

My interest in the show was peaked after seeing a very small excerpt at Wildness on Tuesday evening which was mentioned in the last post. After a brief discussion with Woods, we both decided it would be good idea to see this production. It did help that we were able to obtain discount admission - all thanks to Wildness. And you know how much I love a bargain!

From the minute it started right up until the end, I was reeling in amazement of this multimedia extravaganza. My senses were in complete overload. I couldn't help myself from studying the technical aspects of the production - from the usage of filtering the backgrounds to the placement of the black screens behind two of the performers. I was highly impressed with the way it was executed. I'm having a tough time putting the majority of my thoughts into words right now so I will end this paragraph saying that "SOS" is utterly genius.

Maybe you should just check out the YouTube clip here to see what I am talking about:



This is the type of work that always gets me inspired to create something of my own. I hope I will be able to conceive some kind of piece involving that hot mess Toxic Waist or her trailer park trash step-brother Gregg Ruled. I feel so motivated to do something outrageous. And lucky for me, I might be able to actually do something about it this weekend since Dragstrip66 is on Saturday night. Now that is realness.

Big Collective Yawn

Yesterday was a bust in the "get shit done" department. I started the day with some orange juice, but it never really took off the way I had imagined it the night before.

My first errand of the day died in my lap once arriving at the location after a grueling journey in traffic. Getting to that locale at that time caused me not be able to complete the second errand I had on my list. Growl. I felt that there was no use of continuing the madness so I did my best to stop myself from becoming over saturated with fury by chanting in some relaxing vibes. Seemed to work as the rest of the day/evening went swimmingly.

I was fed well, hit the gym, and even partook in some artfag performances at Wildness before calling it a night. I originally planned not to go out, but since I came across the Wildness bulletin on MySpace that Big Art Group, Hecuba, and Diamond Lil were scheduled to perform, I had to make an effort to go down to one of the most unique nights in all of LaLaLand. I mean, how could you NOT want to see Diamond Lil... look at these photos:




Fucking amazing. I loved every minute of it.

Truth be told, I'm still in awe from all of the performances last night. Wildness should be the destination on any visiting tranny/artfag/lezbot/hipster/artist's schedule from here to, well, anywhere - sadly, I couldn't think of a cute little quip to finish that off. Boo. Regardless, any night that incorporates eclectic musical DJing, performance art, and a help yourself free tostada bar in a seriously hardcore Mexican tranny dive situated in Koreatown gets my vote as the place to be on Tuesday evenings. Plus there's no cover. Sold!

Well, today is looking swell so far. I'm just moments away from having my orange juice, multi-vitamin, & banana. Then I plan to run those two errands this morning that I had yet to accomplish on Monday and Tuesday. If all goes well with them, I will do some house chores, have a fulfilling upper body workout, eat dinner at a decent time, feast my senses at the Big Art Group show at REDCAT this evening, and get to bed at a respectable time. In that case, you can consider my fingers crossed for all of that to go smoothly.

*crossed fingers* x 1,000

Aren't You Glad You're Abstinent?

If I was wearing a mood ring right now, the color I would be sporting would be a shit stained brown. My aura is quite foul at the moment. My reasoning for being such a twat: I don't feel well, and have since late last night.

So what has caused me to feel so ill you ask? Well, I will tell you: too much cock. No surprise there as cock, as well as ass, is always getting me into trouble. Don't consider that a complaint. I'm quite pleased that I can turn a few tricks now and then, but anytime I have myself a dick sandwich (thanks Adele) one of those "bottom of the television screen warning flash notices" makes it way through my mind telling me to step away from the penis. Do I listen? Hell nah.

Well my punishment this time around is dealing with a cold. After a warehouse party last weekend and a sex party this past weekend, I'm sure I crossed paths with someone who was getting over a cold, had a cold, had the beginnings of a cold, or some other crap. Now I've got the deal with this, and it ain't pretty.

I feel terrible that my attitude is less than cheerful, but there is nothing I can do right now to change it. I didn't get much sleep last night, I woke up too early, I didn't get to the gym like I wanted to, I wore the cargos with a rip in it that only got larger as the day went on, I didn't run an errand I planned to do today... damn, make that two errands I didn't do today - I didn't stop by the post office! Argh.

I spent the majority of the day with Woods, his mum, and his visiting brother. I put my acting skills to the test as I turned on the joyous banter and upbeat smiles even though I was mentally & physically weak. But the minute I got into the car for the drive home, I returned to my earlier-in-the-morning troll status. I even denied myself the chance to go out to see some tragic drag performances this evening. And you know how much I love me some tragic drag performances.

*sigh*

At least tomorrow is a brand new day. I'll start with some Orange Juice and go from there. I do hope things start to turn around as most days recently seem like they have been filled with missed opportunities, and a never ending growing list of grievances. I will do my best to change that color of my mood ring. The goal: a joyful sky blue. But at this point I would settle for a content piss-on-me yellow.

Happiness Comes From All Directions

There are three things that got me tickled pink this morning...

Number 1: Still beaming from the sex party I attended last night. I got off twice so I think that always has a healing effect a day or two afterwards. And it helped that the crowd was quite sociable - hanging with some old buddies, and making a couple of new ones (especially the gent with the tats). And the "popper incident" commentaries - oh, those were genius to say the least.

Number 2: Coming across this little quip regarding the idiots in charge at GM:

Toyota Prius. While GM was spending $1 billion to build up the Hummer franchise, Toyota was spending $1 billion to develop a high-mileage hybrid—even though gas prices were still low. After the Prius debuted in the United States in 2000, GM execs seized yet another opportunity to display their intimate knowledge of American consumers, arguing that hybrids didn't make economic sense and that only environmentalists would buy them. Today, Toyota can barely keep up with demand for the Prius, and it has plans to start building them in the United States. GM, meanwhile, is scrambling to rush hybrids and other high-mileage cars into dealerships—far too late.

All I could do is laugh while reading that. Greedy, arrogant American automakers = shitheads.

Number 3: Catching an eyeful of this:

www.meinspace.com/bruno

There is only one word I can think of... WORK!

2 Moms 1 Day

It was a smashing success. Woods' mum left A2 with a smile. That may have been the two glasses of pre-dinner champagne or the single glass of wine during dinner illuminating her face, but regardless it was a good sign.

While one mom left, another one entered. Sort of. Today (as in the 3rd of April) was my mom's birthday. I didn't get a chance to call her earlier in the day, but I knew that I could call her in the evening as she would probably be up late anyhow. So I called her just moments ago to wish her a happy birthday. Typical of my mom, she didn't care that my phone call to her was on the late side. She was just happy to hear from me. Woods even got into the spirit of things to wish her a feliz cumpleaños.

I wish I had been there to celebrate her b-day this evening. From what I was told, the whole fam was there - my nana, brother, sister, niece, tias, tios, and so on. But personally, the icing on the cake would have definitely been the six large Peter Piper pizzas she had for the party. The minute she told me over the phone what they had to eat, I became envious. I love me some Peter Piper's. Oh well, I will have my time with Peter Piper's again the next time I go to Tucson. *mouth waters*

Overall, I am happy my mom celebrated her "Born Day" (thanks Sims) in her own way and Woods' mum enjoyed the company of her sons and myself. In simple terms, it turned out to be a great day in the "Mothers of Homosexuals" department. Woot!

Is It Finished Yet?

It's 6.37am on Friday morning. I haven't been to sleep yet. I'm tired, hungry, exhausted, and cranky. A beautiful combination really.

I've been up all evening with Woods straighten up the living quarters in preparation for a visit later today from his mum and brother who is in from Texas. And by straighten, I don't mean just cleaning up the mess on the floor, I mean full on hiding the flyer of that muscle guy's hole hovering over the kitchen table. It's mainly about respect, but also a bit about being too flamboyant with the gayness around Woods' fam. That kind of limitations is somewhat new to me as with my mom you don't have to prance around the fact that we are both cocksuckers. I will give Woods' mum tons of credit tho as she has warmed up to me since the intial meeting - but then again, she hasn't seen the side of me that brings nutbags like Toxic Waist to the surface. But luckily, I doubt she ever will. *erk*

Well, despite that I have been up the entire evening, the house is no where near presentable. I am going to forgo the stress and get some shut eye. I'll pick up where I left off sometime around 10:30am. Cross your fingers that I complete the purification of the spaces. Lord knows I am going to need all the help I can get to get this shit done.

Getting some?

I'm not a fan of any sort of "self pity" jokes. I'm guilty of making them myself, and I always feel like a total douche afterwards. When appropriate, or able for that matter, I apologize.

Some side info, I have never lived alone. I've always wanted to, but never got the chance to. So all of my experiences typically involve another person who I have lived with. Since living with said individuals, I always seem to over analyze their behavior, moods, and so forth. Doing this, I've become more aware of my own. Early on, I would keep the observations to myself. I'd desperately dissect every detail all in my head until I had depleted every single drop of energy from the situation. But now thanks to the wonders of the internet, I blog about it - occasionally.

Ahem.

As I typed away just minutes ago, Woods peeped into my space to inform me about the adventures of the our galpal whom I shall refer to as GoodPussy. Once he was done giving me the exploits of her latest sexual escapade, he made a comment how she is getting nailed hard and he currently as in "right at the moment" is not (insert self-pity/sarcastic tone). Soon I feel the weight is put onto my shoulders as if I am the only person who can solve his dilemma. So my response to that is to shut down emotionally and not say a word. I turn from looking at him and focus my attention to my computer screen. My emotions seem to rush rather quickly - the outcome: annoyance. He seems to notice the mood change so he asks what I am doing, and what time I will be to bed. I give him a brisk answer of "soon". He leaves.

I know I interpreted his comment incorrectly as he was making a joke, but as I mentioned before, I am not a big fan of this type of humor. I believe that there is always some truth in those quips. Timofy was notorious for using them. And my reaction to his use of them was rebellion in any shape, way or form.

As I mentioned in my previous post, it's all about meditation so I will meditate to release these harsh feelings I have at this time. I know Woods is only horned up (as always) and was just curious as to what time I will be going to bed as it is rather late. I just want to make sure there are no hidden meanings behind any silly little comments because honestly I through with having to read through bullshit via the gem that is uncomfortable faux-laughter.

*sigh*

Welcoming Frustration

Waking up completely flustered is never a good thing. As I type, I feel so worked up. I can't believe that I've allowed myself to become overwhelmed to this degree. As much I am chalking this up to my irresponsible nature, I know that it's not as bad as it seems. Maybe I am PMSing?

The list of grievances is probably a mile long. The situations range from the painting of the living quarters to my sleeping & eating schedule to the dumbfucks at the gym's pool to my finances - which there are none. All of this issues are fixable. I just need to calm myself down.

*meditation*

I used to meditate quite a bit in my early twenties anytime something got the best of me. As I got older I've become less tolerable - to the point where I let any little shit problem sneak it's way under my skin. Maybe I will bring back the meditation more frequently to see how it affects my vibe. I was relying on the gym to cleanse all of the negativities from my head, but lately those ass wipes at the pool, as I mentioned before, have contributed to the antagonization of my well being.

*meditation*

I think it's working. Now if I could only remember that Tina Turner chant from "What's Love Got To Do With It". Doe-rae-mae-een-gee-oh. Much better.

Now if that chant can help me get a job, or better yet, a quick 300 dollars so I can snapped up some CDs from the perfectbeat.com VIP sale, I would be the happiest father fucker this side of Hancock Park.

*crossing fingers*

No Flogging Zone

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Missing Trigger

I have returned from Arizona safe and sound.

I drove the Pickle Wagon throughout the late/early morning hours all by myself (and my musica) while Woods followed behind in the brand new truck tentatively named Klouse (inside joke). I will admit that I very muched enjoyed my trip back alone. It reminded me of the days when I used discover Tucson in my dark green 1981 Toyota pick-up (Trigger) after I would get out of working the late shift at the hotel. The trips were always well stocked with a stack of CDs to listen to. Sometimes I would mouth the words along with the song while other times I would be in deep thought with the tune blaring in the background. This type of activity became habit around the time I was coming to terms with my public gayness (or as the community likes to call it "coming out of the closet"). I spent many nights driving around the town, even sometimes parking in remote areas of the city just looking at the night sky wishing I was somewhere else. Many times I longed for a connection with someone who understood me.

I did try to recreate those driving moments in San Diego a few times, but it didn't work out. I plan to do that here in Los Angeles once I am working and have a vehicle of my own. There is something therapeutic about driving, listening to music and being alone with your thoughts. I just hope the revival of those types of drives comes sooner rather than later.