Intoxicated Lesbians Really Shouldn't Throw Stones

Two words: penis envy. I'm over it. I'm heading to bed now.

The Gay Gobble Show

A fine Turkey Day it was. A gaggle of homosexuals shooting the breeze about everything from the gym to dance parties, polishing off 5+ bottles of wine, a lovely home cooked meal, decadent deserts, and a serious heaping of inappropriate jokes. I truly hope this Thanksgiving gathering becomes a tradition.

Last year, it was Woods, RA, and myself... and now this year, it full cast starring Woods, RA, Bryant, CB, Vin, D, and myself. I am an extremely happy and quite a lucky little faglet to have such great people surrounding me. Many thanks to those wonderful individuals who encompass my life. A toast to you.

Beans And Rice Does A Body Good

Holy shit! Where my dollar bills at?

Queen Of The Night

I'm on a completely Debra Wilson binge at the moment. I just have to say that her Whitney Houston impersonation is totally spot on. They should have built a show around her doing Nippy. That would have been much more entertaining than that train wreck of a reality show centered on Bobby Brown. "Skin that and make me a coat". Love it.

"Did I Say You Could Speak?"

I truly miss that brilliant sketch show known as MADtv. That program totally kicked SNL's ass all over the TV landscape. Unfortunately, the ratings couldn't hold up so it died a slow painful death, but I'm happy that I am able to track down some amazing clips from the show through YouTube - especially those of the incomparable Debra Wilson. She is truly a national treasure. Will some television exec sign Debra to her own show show already?! Well maybe you can see why I am such a huge Lady Wilson fan... just check the following clips in which she takes on that Diana Ross-wannabe Beyoncé during her final Destiny's Child days.

It's Barbie, Bitch!

I hating on Nicki Minaj has been building for months. To be honest, I'm more of a Lil' Kim person than a so called "Barbie", but I do appreciate what Onika is bringing to the table, even tho it is somewhat "influenced" from my homegirl Kimberly Jones. But back to the what the haters are saying... a faux track listing for Nicki's debut album "Pink Friday" was posted on random Hip Hop site by someone who is clearly NOT on Team Minaj. I find it completely howl-worthy so I had to re-list it for y'all's amusement.

This is the real tracklisting....

1. Transvestitute
2. Without my Tits and Ass (Who am I?)
3. Unbeweavable
4. Suck Your Way to the Top
5. Sexually Confused
6. My Father's Worst Nightmare
7. Strap-On
8. Setting Black Women Back 50 Years
9. Money, Money, Money, Money, Money...
10. Champagne and Brand Names
11. I Wish I Was a White Girl
12. Lies Are The New Truth
13. Name That STD (Bonus Track)

Like Sand Through The Hour Glass

The floors are covered in dust thus making the house feel completely filthy. I'm crabby because I haven't had a bite to eat since 3pm. I haven't been to the gym yet today and will not be going due to the fact that I have to be ready to leave for dinner at 9pm. And I still have an unsettling feeling in my stomach which has been torturing me since I gotten up this morning. This is the accumulation of all the things that have made this promising day turn sour.

Joy.

Hopefully dinner will turn things around as I feel, and know for a fact, that I am not the best company. Just call me Pouty-Faced Petunia.

I hate it when things never go as planned. I know not everything runs smoothly, but I would rather have some things happen on the regular - or even if those said "things" pan out slightly different as long as some of the key elements that keep my engine running on a daily basis find their way to completion.

I'm sure a glass of wine or a strong cocktail with dinner will remind me that tomorrow is another day. And here's to hoping that I know how to tackle the obstacles differently when I wake up in the morn.

Too many things to do, too many distractions, and not enough time. The story of our lives.

Nancy Boy

There is a growing uproar over the two following adverts, but all I can see when I look at them is memories of myself as a child. Awe.


Upon my scanning of the comments over the furor these ads have created, I came across this genius parody from The Onion - which has now become a solid favorite of mine:



I wish those parents who shame their children for being "different" (read: fabulous) could only realize how lucky they really are. I mean, c'mon, how boring is it to have a "normal" child. I'm super grateful that mom saw my potential when I was a wee lad parading around the living room in her heels. Werque!

FolSUM 2010 Recap

On a scale of 1 to 10 on how I rate my experience at this past Folsom Street Fair, I would have to give it two completely separate scores. One at 10 and another at 4. 10 covering the weather and the crew I surrounded myself with this year, and a 4 for the what became the last act of the Folsom Street Fair evening - the grand finale, if you will. It ended on a very sour note. Argh. Needless to say, it was nice overall, but I sincerely wish it didn't end on such a atrocious note. Now I will forever remember Folsom 2010 for that one incident. How sad, but I think I shall end the recap there otherwise I will re-open that horrible can of worms, and I really wish to put it all behind me.

On a lighter note, I was able to explore something independently that I have always wanted to experience. I have limited opportunities these days to go on an adventure of my own so this was extremely delightful. Maybe now that I am back in Los Angeles, I can take myself out of the day-to-day normalcy to put myself out there. Here's to hoping for that kind of change.

Bad Romance

It has been a long time that I had an substandard hook up. Not to say that all of my sexual escapades have been completely out of this world because the majority of them are rather ho-hum, but the one I just escaped from from less than stellar. Actually, it was over before it even started. Without giving away too many details in respect to the parties involved (and yes, I said parties), I will say it is always best that each individual know exactly what they are getting into. I strongly dislike people who show up only to turn into a Nervous Nancy when certain things are brought to their attention whether it be verbal or suggestive. Confidence is key, as well as cleanliness. Grungy dirtiness is not welcome my household.

Whip's Wisdom For Tricking: Prior to performing fellatio or analingous, always check the said region with a good eyeing over and a feel with your hand/finger before you stick your own body part(s) on and into the area.

Clearing The Opening

Whip's Pseudo Pre-Game Pep Talk:

I welcome this week with open arms. Enough whining already. I need to man up and get some shit done.

Update: Sunday's Stress Test

The day was a complete waste. A total shitcake. I should have expected this much when I completed the last entry earlier today. My stomach is in knots at the moment. As well harbouring a migraine - the third this week. Sigh.

Everything lately seems to be magically maturing into a big heaping load of filth. No matter how much I attempt to work on something, it just feels as if the energy spent is returning to me ten fold only negatively. I am totally stumped as where I should go from here. I just want to crawl into a dark space to be alone with my insane thoughts.

I could assume this is some sort of depression, but I've been analyzing this in my mind all afternoon and I'm sure I am not depressed. At least not yet. I have been depressed in the past, and it was nothing like this. Currently, I am frustrated, upset, somber. To be honest, I am on the brink of tears. And it's just making grow more foul by the minute.

What to do? What to do?

I was going to salvage the remainder of the day by going to work out, but that was throw out by some unstable rationale. I think at this point, I will make my way back to the couch, turn on the television and count the minutes until I fall back to sleep. Hopefully I will awaken in a state of eagerness as it will be a new day, and yet again, attempting to start anew.

I'm hoping this will pick up at some point because this starting over again thing is waring thin on my psyche. I'm over it.

Sunday's Stress Test

I've been stressing myself out quite a bit recently. It has been more of an internal struggle than a public one - unless you know me personally, because then you could be able to figure it out.

Over the last month or so, I've have been faced with numerous obstacles. Some major while others are simply frivolous. Either way, the outcome has been the same on my emotions. I feel like my estrogen levels have climbed drastically over the past weeks. At times I can be quite content, but then at a drop of a hat, I find myself fuming over the littlest things.

I am in the mist of pin-pointing the root of this problem I am dealing with. I'm leaning towards the uneasiness of the zombie-like state I am in. While I have blogged about this in the past, I feel this time, it's more serious than ever.

I have been working on "normalizing" my sleeping schedule so that may have something to do with it. No frequent late nights for this girl. I've actually been finding myself feeling rather tired earlier in the evening... 10pm, 11pm, midnight. That is a plus. So maybe my moods are affected by this. Regardless, it's not easy to live with. Ask Woods. But on the same token, I have too dealt with his changing moods.

All I can do right now is sigh a little bit. Today was supposed to be quite an exciting day, but as I had come to expect, the events from earlier this week have caught up with me. Toxic Waist will not be attending Hard Heroes 7 this afternoon. And at this point, I may not be either. I'll have to see after I eat lunch which is waiting for me in the kitchen. I guess I should wrap this up and get to stuffing my face. I'm sure post feeding I will see everything much more clear. And hopefully, I will not be such a sourpuss any longer. Here's to hoping.

Kelis IS The Boss

I'm really digging Kelis' new song "Acapella". I've always enjoyed Kelis' work. She has been someone who was not afraid to take risks - especially in the within-the-color-lines world of Hip Hop/R&B. Either you are singing about how hot you are, how in love you are, or how your man did you wrong. I love me some R&B, but isn't it time it evolved? And I'm not talking about that horrid auto-tune trend that has been saturating the market place over the past few years. Thank you T-Pain. Talentless fucker.

Listening to her new work has me reminiscing about the time a couple of years back when I saw Kelis with her then husband Nas and two friends at the notorious Ginger Rogers Beach - the mostly homosexual area of Will Rogers State Beach. I was quite shocked to see that they were there being the fact that it was Easter Sunday. I'm guessing they weren't aware the area was full of ass bandits, or they were quite sly working the world outside of the paparazzis because, lets just say, that they were all quite enjoying themselves rather highly. Cough. Well, good for them. Hell, I even snapped a couple of photos since they were just a stones throw away from us. Secretly of course. I'm not pap, but I will snap a photo of a bitch if the time is right!

Ah, I remember I wanted to trot over to Miss Kelis and say "You go girl!" following up with an innocent question of "Mind if I have a hit of that?" Hell, it was Easter Sunday. Are you saying you wouldn't?! What better way to celebrate the zombiefied resurrection of Jesus? Well, that in addition to getting stinking drunk and having filthy sex with a numerous strangers. Praise be!

My panties are actually getting quite moist due to the fact that I will seeing seeing Kelis on Saturday night in SFO. I saw her last month at LA Pride, and she worked it out so I'm actually even more excited to be witness to her extended set at Mezzanine SF. You know I'll be bringing my tired milkshake to that yard! Most definitely.

El Shack Is Back

It's that time, yet again... Trannyshack LA has returned... be there tomorrow night!

Dusty Rags

Holy cripe! I haven't posted anything in weeks! I better get to crackin', but life has been quite ratherly busy with LA Pride and visiting friends and such. Trannyshack LA is weeks away so I'm getting ready for that. Lord, where has the time gone?! Oh yeah, that's right, I've been wasting it. Argh.

In Your Face(place)!

Thanks to the modern communications of FacePlace (Facebook), I have done the "unthinkable" by touching more than just a nerve with two people - one who "was" a good friend (I used "was" instead of "is" due to the fact that we are no longer on speaking terms) and one who is my sibling (I was never really that close to him anyway). Since I have a tendency to vocalize my thoughts, certain people have come to find it quite offending. I guess if the truth hurts, then it hurts. I would think that having someone challenge you on your thoughts/actions it would make you want to open up dialogue in turn making you a stronger individual, but instead these two peoples crawled back into their cages showing off their true colors - the color of a coward.

Sidenote: my "coward" comment may sounds harsh, but life is too short for sugarcoating. We all need to step up and own our baggage.

It's actually refreshing because through all of this it is helping me weed out the bullshit in my life. I think it personally hurt me more when BJ did it since we are/were friends, but with my brother, I wasn't really that upset to be quite honest.

I have come to certain realizations with the relationship I have with my brother - see the prior blog entry: Of The Same, But Oh So Different. We don't relate to each other. We are like that old saying about "oil and water" - we just don't mix. It may have to do with the fact that I grew up closer to my mother while he and my sister were split between my parents. My father had a stronger hold on my siblings - toying with their feelings and such. The fact that I was so much closer to my mother caused a huge rift between the Lopenski childrens. My father ended up accusing me of taking sides - and for once, he was right. I was quite upfront about it, but of course, he tried to spin it to his benefit as best as he could. He was selling it, but I wasn't buying it. Bah-zing! And ever since then, I've been estranged from my father. I've always believed my brother has faulted me for that because he sees my dad as "the almighty". Yawn.

Anyway, it may seem to be that I am on a roll with this "not afraid to speak my mind" thing, so I'm curious as to who will be the next one to fall? I mean everything happens in threes right? So if that holds true, there is someone waiting in the shadows just ripe to be rather annoyed with me. Of course, my feeling is "fuck 'em if they can't handle the truth", but hopefully whoever is annoyed with me will have the balls to talk it out with me instead of attempting to hurt me with cheap shots. Cowards.

So my advice to those of you who post information regarding your whereabouts, thoughts, feelings and the like on FacePlace/Twatter/MySpace, prepare for any and all feedback you get from that. You only have yourself to blame for putting it out there. If you don't want to hear it, then don't talk about it. It's that simple.

Of The Same, But Oh So Different

I have come to the conclusion that I will probably never have the relationship I would like with my brother or my sister. I come from a different world than they do. Actually, that is how I feel about most of my family. I feel so alienated, but I do think that comes from years of being put on the side lines - which in turn has taught me a great deal about myself.

I feel that most of my family probably think I'm some kind of smug bastard because I left for California. I would gather they would feel I am trying to dissociate myself from them, and rightfully so. There is a certain portion of my entire family that I don't relate to, or have no desire to relate to. This mostly pertains to my father's side of the family - which I always felt to be much of an outcast as a kid. I still share that feeling as an adult.

But beyond all of that, the relationship (of lack thereof) that is strained the most seems to be the one with my younger brother - to which we will call RJ. I got my hopes up of a closer relationship at one point when my brother revealed something personal to me many years back. That excitement lasted only but a second as in typical "Lopez" fashion the reveal was taken aback. You can read between the lines there.

I know for a fact that I have the "older brother knows all syndrome" but at least I own up to it. Actually I've learned to own up to quite a bit. (sidenote: thank you Woods) I've also learned to speak my mind and stand up for myself. (sidenote: thank you Timofy) But my brother is younger, so he is still figuring his life out. Maybe that is why we don't relate so well.

I would very much like to have a friendly relationship with my siblings, but I don't want to feel that I am the only one making that kind of effort. I'm not into wasting my time with relationships so if they have no desire to go forth with it, then I would prefer for them to be honest with me so we will all know where we all stand. But I don't think they are ready for that. I guess I'm impatient. Damn that Sagittarius trait.

Oh well, I will cherish the day when I can see eye to eye with my brother and sister. But until that day comes, I will enjoy the "family" that I have created for myself because they mean the world to me.

Un-Sweet Fifteen

Aye dios mío!

Quinceñera horror!

Deeper Shade Of Proud

It's official: Pride season has started. Long Beach Pride kicked off this past weekend.

*yawn*

Whatever. Woods and I decided to skip LB Pride this year. Two reasons: money and energy.

Money - I couldn't fathom spending 20 bucks each for admission. Yea, well, it may be cute to hang out with all of your gay sisters and brothers for the day, but once you add that amount with what you will spend on alcohol and food. No thanks Louise!

Energy - Not that I didn't have the energy for it (because you know I do!), I just felt I would rather channel it towards completing something more constructive such as working on the house, catching up on the DVR, finishing some errands, hitting the gym, or sleeping. Yea, I said sleeping. Shut up.

The only down fall from not attending the festival was not being able to see the entertainment such as The Ones (love them), Martha Wash, Crystal Waters and Linda Clifford. But here's to hoping that I will have another opportunity to see them again soon. *crosses fingers*

Now when LA Pride comes around next month, I'm all about it. I'm already planning to bring my milkshake to the yard! Awe yea.

Sheep Herding 101

Gross.

Just gag me with a cross, please.

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Thousands flock to Vatican to back pope over abuse
By NICOLE WINFIELD, Associated Press Writer Nicole Winfield, Associated Press Writer

VATICAN CITY – A crowd estimated by the Vatican at 150,000 filled St. Peter's Square on Sunday in a major show of support for Pope Benedict XVI over the clerical sex abuse scandal.

Benedict said he was comforted by such a "beautiful and spontaneous show of faith and solidarity" and again denounced what he called the "sin" that has infected the church and needs to be purified.

Citing estimates from Vatican police, the Vatican press office said 150,000 people had turned out for the demonstration organized by an association of 68 Italian lay groups.

Despite a drizzling rain, the balloon- and banner-toting faithful from around Italy overflowed from the piazza; banners hung up on Bernini's colonnade encircling the piazza read "Together with the pope," and "Don't be afraid, Jesus won out over evil."

Such large crowds are usually reserved for major holiday Masses and canonizations, not for Benedict's brief Sunday blessings from his studio window. The crowd interrupted Benedict frequently with applause and shouts of "Benedetto!" and the pontiff himself strayed from his prepared remarks to thank them again and again.

"Thank you for your presence and trust," he said. "All of Italy is here."

Benedict didn't refer explicitly to the scandal, but repeated his recently stated position that the scandal was born of sins within the church, which must be purified.

"The true enemy to fear and to fight against is sin, the spiritual evil that unfortunately sometimes infects even members of the church," he said.

The Vatican has been mired in scandal amid hundreds of reports in Europe, the United States and elsewhere of priests who raped and molested children while bishops and Vatican officials turned a blind eye. Benedict's own handling of cases has also come under fire.

Rome's center-right Mayor Gianni Alemanno was in the crowd, along with other pro-Vatican Italian officials.

"We want to show our solidarity to the pope and transmit the message that single individuals make mistakes but institutions, faith and religion cannot be questioned," Alemanno told Associated Press Television News. "We will not allow this."

Thug Love

Oh shit, how gay is this?!

Shark In These Waters

My mood ring colour is burning a hue of bummed.

I was supposed to go to see VV Brown at the Troubadour this evening, but due to certain circumstances, it is no longer happening. Surprisingly I planned the evening out well for myself, but apparently not for the other party.

As always, this comes down to timing and communication. I feel no matter the cause of the situation, it's all weighted in on my end. I always feel the sting when dealing with the soap opera that is the communication department.

*sigh*

Live and learn.

Hopefully, I will get another chance to see her soon. I hope the saying stays true... "third times the charm" as this would be the second time I missed her.

In lieu of concert going, I will take myself to the gym for some much needed tension release through lifting and listening to my selections of the best dance music around.

Au revoir Miss Brown. For now.

Apartment For Rent

Good lord. As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, the M4M Craigslist posts for Los Angeles are simply out of this world.

Just look at what I came across today...

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Surfer showing an Apt for Rent - m4m - 30 (Manhattan Beach)
Dude. You were showing an Apt for Rent in Manhattan Beach. I came by to see the apartment, asked to use the bathroom and left the door ajar. You saw my big cock and came in and started to blow me. It was so fucking hot, but then another dude showed up to see the place and I got nervous and had to bail (I have a GF). I came back about 20 minutes later and no one answered the door, but I walked around and peaked in the windows and saw you getting screwed front and back by 2 dudes. One guy was pulling your hair while the other guy was slapping your ass. I was kind of grossed out and turned on at the same time. Can't believe you're so fucking hot and straight looking but such a slut! I've had a hardon for you ever since. DUDE. I have to hook up with you. How do I get a hold of you? I hope you see this, I keep going past the apt and never see you there, but the For Rent sign is still out. I want to give you the best fuck you've EVER had. I could tell you really liked it when I played with your nipples. My dick gets a lot bigger when I'm not nervous.

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Brava!

That has to be one of the best Missed Connections on LA's Craigslist I have ever seen. I almost sent a message to that person with my compliments... almost.

All That Was Missing Was Goldilocks

Woods and I celebrated Mother's Day with a jaunt out to Bears In Space at Akbar. We both could not spend it with our mother's as mine is in Arizona (she got a phone call in the afternoon) and Woods' mom is in England on holiday. So we did the next best thing - hang out at a bar with a bunch of intoxicated randy bearded homos with hairy chests and asses from the eastside.

Let me tell you that this night had a very old school San Francisco feel going on. Horny guys making out everywhere (one couple even rough-housing in the corner), an extremely dirty hairy go-go dancer (flop flip), and nice bare ass at the urinal. I felt I was catapulted back to SF a few years ago.

All of that made for a wonderful evening. I even go to see a bunch of familiar faces - Crystal, Sean DeLear, The Guzman, Squeaky, Jason, Rose, B, and so forth. Hanging out those peoples and two dollar domestics makes Whip a happy boy. I think we will be going back next month - we'll have to celebrate Father's Day early. I actually celebrate "Daddy's Day" - for obvious reasons. Hot.

The Legends Live In Los Angeles

The moods have shifted. A short(er) chat dispelled all negativity. Whew. I was worried it would be a long drawn out process. I'm glad it wasn't because clearing that up helped me enjoy this past evening's event.

Woods, Piglet and I attended Joey Arias and Sherry Vine's Looking Back At The Future @ Barre at Vermont (or whatever it's called right now). And as with last Friday's show, it was phenomenal. But to be honest, it was a bit more enjoyable this time around due to the crowd. Many jokes were aimed at or about the attendees - such as Jackie Beat, Candis Cayne, Alexis Arquette. It was much more of a "family" feel. I think that always adds to the vibe of the show.

I hate to say it, but sometimes the San Francisco crowds can be a bit stuffy. I remember Jackie Beat made a comment about it once - saying something along the lines that (quite a bit of) people in SF are more sensitive when it comes to irony, and "offensive" humor. Regardless of the fact that the city is very progressive, the flipside is they are quite uptight. Overly PC if you will.

I'm just happy that Piglet enjoyed himself - she was a virgin to the sights and talents of Joey and Sherry. It was nice that we got to chat with Sherry and Joey again post show - even snapping a picture or two. Altho one of the photos I'm going to have to photoshop - Woods looks like she's stoned. Oy vey.

Moods Aren't Just For Lopenskis Anymore

As much as I love to talk a big game about how great everything is, every now and again I get hit with a speedbump. And this time it's about the "cheerleading" issue again. It's a blended concoction mixed with moods, miscommunication, misread reactions, and silence. All of the four things I certainly don't like to deal with. Oh well, it's has to be dealt with whether I like it or not.

Argh.

I have way too many thoughts in my head at the moment so I will just have to revisit this issue tomorrow. I need to eat some food then go to bed. I'm sure all will become clear after a night of pleasant dreams...

Fifth-o De Mayo

I am not celebrating Cinco De Mayo this year 'round. I'm still recovering from the weekend. And my allergies are all funked up. Yuck.

I swear the minute I got back into the LA area, I started to get all congested. That means KTLA had it right - this is one of the worst years for pollen and cold/flus. Double yuck. I guess there is only one way to beat it... hit the gym. I'm off to re-start the workout process. It's been a week since I was there last so it should be interesting...

My abs will not be thanking me tomorrow.

The Whore Returns

I am back home in Los Angeles. All safe and sound.

The weekend was outrageously exciting - speaking for myself of course. I gathered my brother and KP enjoyed their time in SF, but at times I couldn't get a read on them. Moods - it runs in the family.

Oh well, I think I shall list the key moments from the trip. Drumroll please!


*drumroll*


1. Juanita More's Funky Chicken Dinner @ Mars Bars. Dining Out For AIDS, yay for good causes!

2. Getting cruised at Mars Bars.

3. Wicked (& the bum fight on the walk to the Orpheum)

4. Hole In The Wall (drinks + a game of pool)

5. Coming across a foot fetishist and his new conquest outside of Hole In The Wall.

6. The Edge & 440

7. The fight that started at Orphan Andy's. I hate fags & their loud mouth'd fag hags. Shut up cunt!

8. Woods kicking the ass of the fat turd that threw wing sauce in his face.

9. Mr. S Leather's fisting videos

10. Brandy Ho's in the Castro

11. DOSA

12. Joey Arias + Sherry Vine @ The Rrazz Room

13. SOME THING EVIL @ The Stud (& seeing all of the SF peoples)

14. The Grubsteak (those burgers are superb)

15. Haight-Ashbury

16. Toxic Waist werking Raya Light's Farrah wig.

17. Toxic's lips making splash (yet again) - this time up north @ the "All About Evil" premiere.

18. All About Evil (an homage to horror films of the past)

19. El Farolito

20. Union Square

21. Blondie's Pizza

22. Driving around town - Chinatown, Lombard Street (damn tourists), Marina

23. Views of the Alcatraz, Golden Gate & Bay Bridges

24. Blowfish Sushi

25. Mitchell's Ice Cream

26. Cocktailgate @ Truck

27. Shannon

28. Miss Jupiter (Indigenous Basterds, lalala)

29. Naan N' Curry

30. Afterhours in Tenderloin & hanging outside of Power Exchange


Whew. Did we actually cram all of that into a weekend? Yup. Even that insane fight on Thursday night/Friday morn. I'm just happy that no one was seriously hurt. Woods escaped with a few bruised and scratches - which I find hot. Hrmph. At least the SFPD were totally cool about it. As well as the staff at OA's - they didn't ask us to leave. Instead, they apologized for the incident.

As fun as it was, I'm glad it's over tho . I always seem to be reminded that I don't travel that well with others besides Woods - not that I was annoyed my travel companions or anything of the sort. I have just become so accustomed to travelling with Woods that it's second nature to me. And it's what I prefer.

*sigh*

Well, it's time to get back to the grind. I see LA is welcoming me back with open arms. Yay.

What Awaits In San Francisco...

Wowzie wow.

It's too fucking early, but screw it, I'm heading out on the road for a bit of traveling. Woods and I are just moments from leaving to pick up my little brother and KP from LAX. Then we are going to drive up to San Fran for a weekend filled with trannies, trannies and more trannies.

I really love The 'Frisco.

It's shaping up to be a jam-packed weekend that will be nothing short of an eye opener for the two kids from Arizona. Yeah, they've partied here in LA, but nothing beats the vibe in SF. Nothing I tell you.

Now don't get me wrong, I live and breath Los Angeles, but I will say that it is quite extraordinary the kind of freedom you have up in SF. Luckily for the kids, it's not Up Your Alley or Folsom weekend. I'm not sure how they would handle it. But to be honest, it would be kind of cool to see how they would. Hmmm.

Anyway, it's time to make a move. We are off.

To the Pickle Wagon!

Viagra For The Mind: CL Postings In Los Angeles

I love living in Los Angeles more and more each day. And it's not just the people, the great weather, the nightlife, the beaches, the earthquakes, or the diversity of it all. No, it's the Craigslist posts... god I live for it. Just look for yourselves...

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hot asian boy at Zone sun eve... - m4m - 47 (booth)
You are very cute and you took my neg load like a good boy. You liked my big daddy dick. We can do this again. I remember your name. I'm Marty.

Frankie - Golds Gym Hollywood - Saturday afternoon - m4m - 45 (Hollywood)
Hey buddy, we connected and played in the parking lot. Me: tall guy, big bulge, and you made it grow bigger. You are one sexy hot man and you really got me hard as you saw, and tasted. Would love to connect sometime and play. Didn't get your number, wish I would have.

Looking for a Havaianas FLIP-FLOPS erotic spank
Horny masculine guy in Mar Vista area looking for a good flip-flops spank.... my fetish!
I will suck your cock till you cum....... please let me what brand or kind of flips u have ??? U must wear flip-flops like those on my profile pix.....

Eleven - I was a jerk - m4m
You came up and we started dancing and I had a low self esteem last night for some reason (I don't normally) I thought you were too hot for me. Plus, I had just gotten back from Korean BBQ and probably stunk and was paranoid about that. Anyways, I gave you my card, you should email, I thought you were really cute.
BB

Voyeur Sunday Night - m4m
The only drag queen at Voyeur on Sunday night (November 8th). You had a black wig, a hot black dress, fishnets and heels. Would love to chat with you about becoming my drag mother. I hope you find me.
Take care.

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This is why I will live and love this city until I am an decrepit old troll.

Keep it golden Los Angeles, keep it golden.

Putting The DRAG In Drag

One word for this season of RuPaul's Drag Race: excruciating.

I'm quite happy it's over. Despite the fact that it was rather "interesting" to watch, the whole scenario is becoming quite generic, lackluster, bitchy and predictable. I guess you can say it's all of the attributes that make a hit reality television show.

*yawn*

For a few keys points that I must get off my chest...

1. The majority of the girls were generic. Bring something more to the table than being able to contour your nose.

2. Cuntiness is an art form handed down from generation to generation. Horrible attempts at this will be vomited on. See all of Raven's attempts - bitchy for the sake of being bitchy is just plain sad.

3. Reading a bitch is also an art form. This comes from fierce cuntiness. Examples? See the queen listed in number 2.

5. The lines are blurred between this show and Project Runway. Not all queens are styling mavens.

6. Pandora summed it up best on the reunion show... "But you know I can hire a stylist, and some of these girls in the competition needed a personality lift, and you can't get one of those". Amen. Personality is gold.

I think I better pump the brakes right there. Time to move on.

But wait... I have to say that at least Tyra got her grill fixed. Good lord. I would hate to see that mouth on the other side of the glory hole. Yikes.

Well, here's to hoping that next season will have more excitement and less sensationalism. Fingers crossed.

Oh No Yahoo Didn't

Fuck you Yahoo!

For some unknown reason, my original "adult" e-mail has been deleted by Yahoo! without any advice warning. Upon contact Yahoo! Customer Service, I received an extremely vague response from a second rate employee who told me to refer to the TOS (Terms Of Service) as to why I no longer have an Yahoo! account under that screen name. This of course enraged me to the fullest extend.

I don't know what pisses me off more... the fact that I don't know why the hell my account was suspended/deleted or the fact that I lost tons of personal e-mail messages and contact information. I also no longer have the ability to log into Yahoo! Messenger under that screen name.

The silver lining is I have been having trouble with that screen name for the past couple of years - ranging from the picture issue on Yahoo! Profiles and the missing buddies from Yahoo! Messenger.

But it still works my nerves that they could not give me an exact reason as to why they decided to delete my account. Wouldn't it be better to inform the individual of their error so they don't make that error again? Of course not, that would be too much work on their end. It's much easier to just cut and paste a pre-written message so they can get through as many as possible.

Customer service is dead.

I can only imagine what the real reason as to the demise of my e-mail account. I have a few theories....

1. My Yahoo! Profile photo was finally sticking. And it wasn't "family friendly". Note: it was just my chest. No pubes, no cock, no ass. Just my wanna-be pecs and abs. I can only assume that Yahoo! found that photo "too" salacious for the general public. Oh, how I miss the "adult" Yahoo! Profiles.

2. My account was hacked. The hacker soon started to send out spam, hateful male, or threats. Yahoo! found out and deleted the account. Thanks for the heads up asswipes.

3. I pissed someone off or someone who came across my account didn't like it so they ratted me out to Yahoo! by providing them with any reason they wanted to get rid of my account. Nowadays anyone can flag or report you if they don't like what you have to say and instead of researching the subject the company you have your whatnots with will just remove it without hesitation. And if this person came across my Yahoo! Profile photo (see number 1), they had a "valid" case - "valid" according to their personal beliefs.

*sigh*

I'll be over it soon as I try to work it out with Woods to locate some of my old e-mails. But this should be a lesson to all of you. Be wary of anything you have in your e-mail accounts. Always back up your information because you never know when your information will be gone.

*poof*

Work That Sickness Girl

I don't want to count my eggs before they hatch, but I am so relieve to have the majority of the illness behind me. It was, as I said previously, just plain not cute.

Despite being under the weather, I did manage to get some shit done. Not as much as I would have liked, but I did muster up some energy to hit the gym and do some painting. Despite being the hardcore social butterfly I am, I choose health over nightclubbing. I missed out on the launches of DJ Paul V.'s "Spunk" at the Echoplex and Cody Bayne's "Duke" at Fubar. Boo. I really wanted to attend, but it's not that cool to show up spreading your germs all over the patrons. Well those kind of germs anyway.

Towards the end of sickness cycle, I was able to accomplish more and more - hence my return to the gym. I was rather weak, but I sucked it up and went. Luckily for everyone at the gym, I wasn't contagious. I was just at the tail end of it - dealing with a running nose and an annoying cough. And yes, I covered my mouth when I coughed.

The gym did help quite a bit. Sweating out all of the toxins can really transform you. And that was my main concern. I reserved the cruising aspect until I was better. And I'm feeling better. Hello cruisers!

This week was the turning point for me as I hit up a few events. It was a true test to see if I was ready. And I was...

I visited The Cavern Club Theater on Wednesday eve for "Dirty Mouths" with Selene Luna, Jackie Beat, Nadya Ginsburg and Alec Mapa. I was laughing quite a bit and coughing much less.

Friday night was all about Courtney HOLE at The Music Box @ The Fonda Great show. Lady Love was a mess as was the crowd. One of my favorite concerts in a long time. I'm very proud of my self for not getting into a fight. Yay for me!

Post-HOLE was TRANZKUNTINENTAL at The Roxy. A tranny/rock fuckfest of epic proportions. I was pleasantly surprised. I'm hoping they get to do it again. I need my fix of Mz. Alanna & Kelly Mantle. And The Roxy was a perfect place for that.

Tonight will be the icing on the cake as I plan on hitting up La Cita for Erotic City as they host the one and only Josie Cotton. Apparently she was at LA Pride last year, but I either missed her or I was too drunk to remember. I won't be letting either one of those happen tonight, because this gay man needs to relieve his "Valley Girl" days. Hello Johnny!

From Under The Rock

Amazing what hours and hours of sleep can do. Well, that along with doses of Vicks NyQuil. And bowls of soup. And sweating out the bad stuff at the gym. Those four combined having me just feeling almost 100% better. Praise be!

I got hit hard with some kind of flu bug. I've been sick off and on this winter/spring season. All of the rain here in the Los Angeles area hasn't been to kind on my immune system. I kept getting hit with this illness or that illness. I would be sick for a few days, then viola!, I was over it. Then days later I was down for the count. I didn't understand it. But luckily for me, I wasn't alone. After speaking to different peoples, I learned that it was quite common this season - the flu/cold illness and allergies.

Yay for the much needed rain, but boo for the effects of unwellness.

Now I'm getting back into my original grove and rightfully so, as I have a big trip this upcoming week. San Fran next weekend with my little brother and that goth/rock girl he loves hanging out with. Woods and I have a full weekend scheduled including the "All About Evil" premiere, Joey Arias & Sherry Vine at The Rrazz Room, "Wicked: The Musical" and Spaz's Cocktailgate at Truck. I hope their health is up to par, because I am ready to unleash the beast. I've been laying low for far too long. I'm ready to cause a raucous!

And it starts today!

Thank you Los Angeles for providing me with beautiful sunny 70 degree weather. I need to start working on my tan. As Peggy Hill would say "whoa yeah!"

And The Sky Was Made Of Amethyst

I'm off to finally lay on my eyes on Courtney Love's Hole.

Seriously.

I hope she shows us her hole tonight. That would make my day. That trashy hot mess of a rock hooker - I love her.

The Flu Is Just Not Cute

Health update: still sick.

Bleh.

F To The U To The Flu

Holy shit, am I sick again?

Yup.

*sad face*

The Idiot Box

Why can't 50 Cent just shut the fuck up for once?

50 says even though some broadcast standards may not be fair, he does have love for Gaga and some of other queens of popular music. In a lighthearted part of the interview, Fif was asked whether he'd "kiss, marry or avoid?" Gaga, Beyoncé or Rihanna.

"I would kiss Beyoncé, Lady Gaga and Rihanna," he replied with a laugh. "I'd marry Beyoncé, Lady Gaga and Rihanna — in Africa. I'd have three wives! I would avoid wearing condoms and make really big families."

(via mtv.com)

Update: Mo' Tame?

Well, Miss Mo'Nique did not disappoint! She was just as nasty as she ever was. I loved it. Hell, she even had Woods laughing his balls off. Despite the low attendance (for the Nokia, that place is huge), it was mostly full. It was nice to see all ethnicities up in there - and sexual orientations. Hay!

Some key moments...

1. Mo'Nique telling some asswipe to quit texting during her set

2. Mo'Nique's advice to the black women (oh, they was quiet! - either they was taking notes or not too happy about what she had to say... m'kay, does the truth hurt?)

3. Mo'Nique's comeditic acknowledgments to the "homosexuals" in the house (hay! - I bet some of those audience members were expecting that!)

4. Mo'Nique's weave

Post Mo'Nique show: Cub Scout @ The Eagle (nice to see all the peeps) & Isaac and Nina's birthday party in K-Town (shenanigans until 4am!)

Mo' Tame?

In a couple of hours, I'll be off to see Mo'Nique at the Nokia Theatre. While I am looking forward to seeing Mo's stand-up for the first time in a live venue, I'm on the fence on how her set is going to play out.

Let me explain that statement...

I've seen Mo's comedy routines on television and DVD over the past decade. I love me some raunchy comedians/comediennes and Miss Mo'Nique ranks up there, but I have noticed a difference in her stand-up and her talk show persona lately. I do know that on her talk show she is catering to a specific audience, and it's the same for the live venue gigs, so I'm just hoping she hasn't "watered" down her comedy since she's become a household name. Thanks "Precious". I have faith that it will be just as nasty as it has been for years. Bring on the skinny bitch jokes!

Wasted Wednesdays

A shot from our night at Mustache Mondays a couple of evenings ago...


(via www.buttdickandpussy.blogspot.com)

Toasted Tuesdays

Woah. Mustache Mondays was something else last night. It was a nice distraction from the whole BJ Vs. Whip Photo debacled. Here are some of the highlights...

1. Fade-Dra hooking the Woodsman and myself up. Thanks GHOULfriend.

2. Jer Ber Jones working it out.

3. Finally getting to experience the legendary The Ones live on stage.

4. Conversing with homeGHOULs Fade-Dra, Squeaky, Jer Ber, Alice Cunt, Victor, Blossom, & Sean DeLear.

5. The fight that broke out during Rye Rye's surprise performanace + the aftermath that consumed La Cita.

6. Sean DeLear's vocal bashing to the bloody vermin who squrmed his way back into La Cita.

7. Meeting Nashom Wooden of The Ones.

8. Two margaritas. Thanks Woodsman.

Today's Special: Wisdom

I'm feeling 95% better today. I'm much improved. The illness seems to be on the outs. Thank heaven. But of course, despite the fact that my physical is on the up, my mental & emotional is on the down - I'm quite overworked at the moment. And it stems from that damn issue with BJ and the photo. Argh.

The main bits: BJ wanted to continue to talk about it when I was clearly over it. I didn't have the energy to deal with that shit because of two reasons: my mom's visit and my unwellness. I was planning on calling her this evening to clear up this situation, but she jumped to conclusions before I had the chance to explain myself. She decided to send me a not so pleasant message on Faceplace and remove me from her friends listing. This enraged me.

The bitchy response: I complied a letter to her that I would then send to her via Faceplace. It was not very nice. Honestly, it was quite brutal, but in my opinion I was speaking the truth, and verbally releasing my emotions. I won't go into the details of the letter, but I will include a quote that I listed within the body. I'm sure you will get the idea of where I went with it all...

“What is the common denominator of all your fucked up relationships? You bitch. Fix yo’ mutha fuckin’ self. You the only bitch been through all this bad shit. Look inside yourself.” - Sheryl Underwood

My current standing: I'm still quite angry with the entire situation. I hate dealing with drama, but if you bring it, I will serve it. And I don't deal well with the whole passive aggressive behaviour. Especially when a friend uses it on me. So the way I feel right now is due to the fact that this situation was "taken there".

Following up: BJ responded to my message. She informed me that the words where "pretty harsh" and it made her "really sad". She also said she understood and would "back off". Whatever the fuck that means. She did not apologize for going overboard on the removal of friends and calling this situation a "failed" relationship. From this, I am still quite pissed off. But at the same time, not at all surprised.

Such A Fucking Lady

Some old school Adele Givens shit from Def Comedy Jam... work!

Banned By Popular Demand

Holy hell. The flow of insanity runs deeps in these parts.

BJ can be a piece of work sometimes. And this is coming from a piece of work herself (moi).

*gather thoughts*

To keep a long story short, BJ didn't approve of a comment which read "Now you can add "teabagged" experience to your resume." with an attached photo which I posted on her Faceplace wall. A photo that she clearly posed for. A photo she took, not one, but two times. One for Mr. Black LA, and one of my personal collection. I posted the one from the Mr. Black LA website. Anyway, she removed the posting which in turn irked the hell out of me. Why you ask? I'll tell you...

She has a tendency to post photos of myself and others that she deems alright on her end, but heaven forbid if you do it.

This reminds me of an old acquaintance who bitched me out for sending out mass e-mails to my friends. He asked me to take him off the list because he didn't approve of mass e-mails. I obliged his request. It seemed odd to me that he did not practice what he preached as I continued to get numerous messages from his e-mail account and his mass mailings.

Hypocrites all of them.

Anyway, since this is MY shit and I can do what I please, I will post the link to the photo of BJ's embarrASSing moment and you can make the call if it was indeed appropriate or not. And if you truly know me, it was appropriate, but fuck it, I'm over it.

http://mrblackla.blogspot.com/2010/03/mr-black-la-tuesday-march-2nd-2010.html

Hot Cup Of Tea

I love Alison Goldfrapp.

February 28, 2010

Alison Goldfrapp walks alone

Her style has spawned many imitators, but the fortysomething superstar hates being pigeonholed for her music or her sexuality

(Ryan O'Toole)

'I had my faith restored in youth and rebellion with that squat party in Mayfair. We used to do that all the time,' says Alison Goldfrapp

Paul Flynn

I meet Alison Goldfrapp at Soho House the morning after the Brit Awards. She is fresh-faced, wearing a vintage silk shirt with a zebra galloping across it, but I never once see her eyes, as she keeps a pair of classic Ray-Bans perched on her delicate little nose throughout. At 43, she has sparrow-like dimensions and a flurry of blonde curls, but when she roars, she has a delicious negativity that you can almost feel her attempting to reign in. So, did she watch the awards last night? “Absolutely not!” she exclaims. “I am not in the slightest bit interested in watching it or any other awards ceremony. They are all random. That one is about cash, and how much cash you can make, and lots of people sitting around patting themselves on the back for making cash.”

Dismissing the entire music industry in three easy sentences? Just another day at the office for Ms Goldfrapp. With the unusual combination of a convent education set against a bohemian Hampshire upbringing, Goldfrapp was always going to push the boundaries. She famously rounded off her degree show in fine art with a performance that combined yodelling with milking a cow. A spell as a collaborator with Bristol’s favourite dystopian, Tricky, and guest spots with the balding rave nerds Orbital were her greatest musical accomplishments of the 1990s. But then she hooked up with her long-term collaborator in Goldfrapp (also the name of her band), Will Gregory. She says that for the entire writing process behind making a record, it is just the two of them in the studio. No engineer. No tea boy. “We make our own bloody tea, thank you very much.”

The band were then signed by Mute Records’ Daniel Miller (“One of the only men in the industry whose opinion you actually want to hear. The rest you want as far away as possible from what you do”) and, owing to the dream-like, filmic texture of their first record, Felt Mountain, Goldfrapp were mistakenly dumped in the then voguish chillout camp. Perhaps marked by this early cataloguing carelessness, one of Alison Goldfrapp’s pet hates is piped music. When she toured her most recent album, she says she would look in the lobbies of hotels for the wires to the sound systems, because she wanted to cut them.

Throughout the course of their records, they have engaged with vintage European electronics, glam-rock, pastoral acoustics and 3am mirrorball classics, without ever losing the central flavour of what it is to be Goldfrapp — which is, eminently danceable, sexually brooding pop of the highest order: the kind Madonna would probably make if she could just stop being so high-achieving.

So, after a decade in the record industry, it seems musical times are in danger of catching up with Goldfrapp. There are mini-Frapps everywhere, standing moodily by their synthesizers in some distinct, eye-catching plumage. From the Madonna-ish steel of Gaga through the brazenly retro La Roux to the almost “Tonight, Matthew…” tribute acts Little Boots and Ellie Goulding, Alison Goldfrapp’s accidental spawn have cut a swathe right across culture.

One cannot help but wonder if she would rather be operating on a more even playing field in the record industry, 20 years younger. “No. I feel for all the new young ladies that are around at the moment. They are probably having their arses worked off because they’re young and hungry. I’m sure that record companies think of them as more malleable, and I think that’s really tough for them. That stuff really takes its toll on you, very quickly. You can’t be creative when you’re being shoved around from pillar to post all over the planet, and then, when things stop, just be expected to turn out another album. You learn your tolerance levels of how much stuff you can and can’t do with age. It is a lesson you have to learn.”

Goldfrapp’s fifth record, a concise nine-song set by the name of Head First, opens with a suite of three tracks that are the most transparently pop of her career. It feels as if she has turned in her straightest pop record, ironically at a time when she is at her least straight. “Who started off straight? I didn’t start off straight. That’s someone else’s perception, not mine.” She is now going out with the film editor Lisa Gunning, but looks aghast when I ask if she is now a lesbian.

“What? Am I saying that? I feel like I’m in an amateur therapy session. No, I am not. I think of everything as being about a person and a relationship, and I am in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful person. It just happens to be with a lady. I’ve had some wonderful relationships with men, too. I mean, I’ve had some shit ones — haven’t we all? But no, it’s a relationship with a person and that’s how I see my sexuality. It’s something I’ve thought about for a long time and it concurs with my philosophy on life and sexuality. I don’t think it can or should be pigeonholed. I’ve thought about this since I was a teenager. I’ve always found it claustrophobic to think about having to put things into categories like that. My sexuality is the same as my music and my life. Why does it need a label?”

Unlike music, surely there is a political impulse behind homosexuality, though, whe­ther you like it or not. “Of course, and I appreciate that. Maybe I’m lucky in that I haven’t had to face it as much as someone who feels that they are definitely in one camp. Maybe that’s the difference.”

Of course, the point with Alison Goldfrapp is that she doesn’t need to be 20 years younger to compete with the peers she accidentally gave voice to. There is always something of the impetuous teen about her. She looks utterly delighted when I note that the lyrics of Head First have the openness of a teenager in love. “I had my faith restored in youth and rebellion quite recently, actually,” she says, “with that story about the squat party in Mayfair. I just thought, we used to do that shit all the time. I was quite relieved by it in a way. Obviously, you don’t want people to get hurt or messed up, but I loved the fact that they were just having a party. And that they had ruined Park Lane. I mean, brilliant, no? It made me laugh. I found it almost heart-warming. I got quite nostalgic for a moment.”

It's Re-GINA If You're Nasty

Despite being sick, I am still able to keep my energy up for my mom's visit. We went to see Dreamgirls last night at the Ahmanson Theatre. I know, I know... that's pretty gay, but fuck it, I'm a big homo who loves showtunes, so stick it! Ok, I may not LOVE showtunes, but I can roll with the biggest queens who live and breathe musicals. And besides, you got to love the character of Effie. Go girl.

Well to continue on the diva theme (read: homo), the three of us (my mom, Woods, and I) attended the one woman show of the incomparable Jenifer Lewis entitled "Hot Flash" which was held at the Renberg Theatre. Good lord that woman is something else. I had figured the show would run about 90 minutes tops. I was wrong. She went on for about 2 hours. Work it girl. And as always, she was amazing.

I'm really quite happy my mom enjoyed it so much. I kind of knew that she would, but it's always nice when she really does have a good time at these shows we take her to. I love taking her to these shows that she would not be able to experience back in Tucson. It's true, I'm a momma's boy. So what.

At least with the combination of two shows, my mom was finally (I use that term loosely) able to spot a few celebrities. Last night while driving into the Center Theatre Group's complex she spotted Jeremy Renner getting out of a sports car. While tonight, she got to see the legendary Marla Gibbs (Flo from "The Jeffersons") and my personal favorite... Regina Hall of "Scary Movie" fame! And since I just saw my boo Regina Hall, I have to include the absolutely best and most hilarious clip of Brenda from the first of the "Scary Movie" series:



Oh, if I wasn't so sick, I would have thrown myself at Regina, but alas, I am quite unwell at the moment. Next time, next time.

Sniffle X 2 Cough X 2

What perfect timing. It looks like I am dealing with the beginning stages of having a cold. Of course this couldn't have started last week. Instead, it's happening today just as my mom is scheduled to fly in tonight for the weekend. And what a weekend at that! We have a complete weekend chock full of shows, trotting around town and such. Sigh.

I find this highly unacceptable on my part. Damn my body! Oh well, I just have to suck it up and deal with it. I'll have to keep myself in high spirits and avoid passing my sickness to anyone else. At least my mom doesn't mind as she just worries about my health and will more that likely try to make sure I am doing alright. Yay for mothers!

Now it's time for Orange Juice, then the typical Mexican remedy of chicken noodle soup & Sprite. *cough*

Caught With Your Pants Down

Looks like I won't be stopping by Griffith or Elysian anytime soon.

Pelotas Azules

So I have returned from being out this evening. Tonight was not the usual night filled with club hopping and socializing. Instead, I spend my Saturday night at a sex party. I attend these sex parties every few months. It's an exclusive club, but not the bullshit kind of exclusive you might think. There is a purpose for the exclusivity. It's quite nice actually, because of the selection process the parties are loads of fun and "hot" (the generic form of the word), as well as well planned and managed.

Anyhow, the night was rather lackluster on my part. Sure the sex that was happening was "hot" (generic form again), but it was one of those evenings where my game was non-existent. The guys I were into didn't seem to be into me, and when it did seem as if a guy I was into was about to make a move (or vice versa) it just fizzled out. In this type of situation, timing is to blame. I'm not frustrated by any means as these scenarios present themselves ever so often so I'm sure the next party will make up for this one. At least the party allowed me the opportunity to see a few of my "acquaintances" there, as well as having some of those "hot" visuals permanently burned into my mind.

Now the best part of the night was the post-party shenanigans. Woods and I ventured to one of the Hollywood Denny's for some junk food - you know... fried cheese sticks, hot wings, onion rings, ice cream shakes, soda pop. Yum. Well little did I know the meal would come with first class entertainment. You see, the clubs had just let out so the restaurant was crawling with classy nightlife patrons all decked out in their new Sean John digs, Hollywood hooker styled stripper heels, and freshly styled weaves. Cute. The whole restaurant was like a South 36th fashion show. South 36th is a reference for my Tucson peeps.

Well across from our table was this small group led by this amazonian female who was rather loudly blunt with her feelings about this and that. Oh, I can tell you that she kept me in stitches with her ghetto lingo and one liners. Here are a few that I can muster up from my memory...

"If you throw some money on the floor, she'd strip for you"

"Sir... sir... sir... I need to tell you that woman was horrible. I wanted to slap the hell out of her. She made my experience here very unpleasant"

"Edith was the shit, but that other girl... I almost slapped her face"

Now you may think to yourself "Whip, how is that classic?" Well, I guess it's one of those situations where you had to be there. Her delivery shouting those lines were remarkable. Lady Amazon could work the hell out of those words. But I will say that the line that leaped out into the Drunken Ghetto Comment Hall Of Fame was this little ditty...

*drumroll*

"If she don't take my order soon, I'm gonna take off my panties and piss on the floor!"

Now how could you not love that. I had to hold my Dr. Pepper in my mouth otherwise I would have spit it out all over Woods who was sitting quietly across from me.

Oh, how I wish BJ, Raya, Alaska, Crystal, Rapunzel, Sims, MommaT, or any one of my other crazy crew members had been there to share those moments with me. They would have ate it up. I guess I will have to hope for a repeat performance as I plan to take those bitches to that Denny's the next time we are out on the town. Good times await!

At least the night ended on a high note as my balls are a shade of blue I never seen. Lovely.

Make It Clap

My current curiosity/future obsession is what is becoming the Sissy Bounce movement. I got a Faceplace notice from Some Thing (Friday nights at The Stud - google it) informing me that Big Freedia was set to perform there. I followed the link to view the video, and let me tell you - woah! I was in catapulted into sheer happiness.

You can view this little piece on Big Freedia:



The burning question now is... when is Big Freedia going to come to LA?!

I Love Me Some Shane McCutcheon

I posted the following photo on BJ's Faceplace wall yesterday with the question: "Wasn't she on The L Word or something?"


I swear that little teen sensation looks like a full blown lezbitarian to me. Work it sister!

It has been the consensus between Woods and I that little Justin Bieber looks like a hipster lezbot. Which I find hot. But on the other hand, I don't find anything hot about little Justina, but I guess if you are a tween then this would be your cup of tea. Good for them.

And btw, Faceplace is what I call Facebook. Yea.

Slave To The Rhythm

Last night's post was definitely a prelude to my mood for the majority of today. I was feeling quite depressed. It was one of those feelings that you kind of know that it's happening, but in full denial of it. The definite signs of me living on the low end are sleep deprivation, subconsciously intended starvation, disinterest in sex/masturbation, and isolation. And I was serving all of it, honey!

But now I am viewing this day in a whole new light. A rebirthing if you will. I decided that I would set easily obtainable goals for myself in hopes that I can, I mean will, complete them. I want to take baby steps. And when I finish them, I will more than likely find the inspiration in it. I soon then will become a cheerleader.

I do have to credit my love of music to get me through to the other side when I get into these scenarios. Listening to "You Got The Love" by The Source Featuring Candi Staton really pushed me over the edge into clarity. I remember tuning myself into this classic dance song many years ago back in San Diego when I would get all beat down about my then living situation. It had the effect to open my eyes and see passed all the bullshit. And I'm happy to report, it's still working it's magic today.

So now I am going to take a disco nap so I can possibly go out to a show this evening. Then I can return home for a nightcap, only to add a dose of my nightly ritual, then a good heaping of sleep. This boy needs it. I want to start tomorrow on a brand spanking new vibe. All I can say to that is: Go Girl!

In Need Of Head (hunter)

I'm so over not working. Yea, it was cute for a while, but I'm honestly done with it. I guess I've been done with it for a long time, and maybe it has had an affect on my overall well-being and mental state when I come to think of it. It gets to down when I reflect on the last few years. I kind of wish I didn't decide to go the "personal time" route when I got laid off from my last job what feels like eons ago.

Now here I am - frustrated, looking for direction in my life. Should I go back to school? Should I attempt to find full time work during this economic climate? And if I do even find work, how will I do with making less money than I did when I was working? Hell, at this point, I guess some money is better than no money. But it also makes me feel like I'm starting all over again in the employment field. And that just bothers me to bits.

Here's the thing - I've always been one who loved to work. Early on, I loved actually being at work even tho I wasn't into the whole seriousness of it. I was always a bit sluggish when getting myself into the mood, but child, one I was there, I was there 110 percent. And I've always been like this as far as I could remember - ever since my first position at NYSP when I was 14 years young. Granted, it was a summer job, but I truly loved it. And I never stopped. Until...

When I first got laid off while I was back in San Diego, I saw it as a new chapter in my life. A "what to do next" sort of thing. I conversed with Woods about moving to LA and within a matter of months, it happened. I was finally living in the city that I love. And I could thank Woods for that. But on the other hand, I should have said no to our discussions about me not working. I should have just moved here, got settled and look for work right away. Or at the very least, gone to school. But I didn't.

So here I am. A man/boy/guy filled with thoughts of "could haves", "should haves", and "would haves". A mountain of dissatisfaction, resentment, and irritation. I feel borderline depressed when I even contemplate the entire situation. I hate it. I hate not have the money like I used to. I hate not having the pride like I used to. I hate not having the social interactions like I used to.

Ugh, I could go on and on with this, but I need to stop myself. The only thing I can do in order to help myself is to get on track with this. And I feel I have been slowly. I have been skimming the employment listings on craigslist over the past two days and so far, I have found a few that I am interested in. So I think I shall finish up this rant and get to resume sending, because the only person who can get me out of this funk is myself, so I better not lollygag any longer. I've had my fun, and I'm ready to move on.

Bang The Drum Slowly

I'm still in awe from Trannyshack this past Friday night. Here is the clip I uploaded of Squeaky Blonde's gorgeous performance.



I love Squeaky.

From A Yell To A Whisper

I have no voice. Literally. This doesn't help the fact that I am still recovering from last night's legendary Trannyshack show at the EchoPlex. But despite having the inability to talk, I am still in high spirits. The show was phenomenal.

My homeGHOULs really turned it out. Raya Light, Alaska Thunderfuck, Fade-Dra, Squeaky Blonde... all out-shined with their illustrious performances. And I had the opportunity to support two of them - almost three, but the schematics didn't work.

I wish I had video of Raya's number, but the battery died right before. Drats! Hopefully some tranny chaser/videographer was filming the number and will post it on youtube within a matter of days. I'll cross my fingers!

I'm happy I didn't get drunk this time around. All that Tecate from the last Trannyshack plus having boxed wine at Fade-Dra's afterhours gathering was just plain not cute! I can proudly say that I am hangover free today. Yippee.

Heads up for next Trannyshack - stay away from Veronica and Alice during their "moments". What happens when you mix pills and alcohol: broken hand sinks. Totally unladylike!

Attack Of The SF Trannies

Tonight. Be there.

Charisma Uniqueness Nerve Talent

Oh RuPaul's Drag Race, how I love to watch a tran-wreck. Let me just say that some of these "girls" this season are, well, lackluster. Some mind you, some. And overly bitchy. Lord, I'll be the first to admit I love a bitchy drag queen, but shit, these hoes are literally bitchy - complaining about every goddamn thing. Ah, the joys of reality television. Catty comments + editing = boob tube gold.

One of my favorite leisure activities is rummaging for comments on blogs & episode recap listings. Here is one that just grab my attention...

"I have to agree with a lot of the other posters on this season’s crop. Too many of them are your run of the mill, neighborhood bar performers. I think that’s why I detest Raven- she doesn’t realize what a garden-variety queen she is. " - crimsondeity via popwatch.ew.com Sun 02/14/10 2:50 PM

Good heavens, everyone is a critic. And I love that everyone is, because I have to agree with that comment. Here's some advice for anyone in a chicken costume: don't take yourself so goddamn serious. You would think for someone who says that "sense of humour" is what you are best known for (according to the RDR promo), I'm perplexed on how you weren't in on that joke. It's a fucking chicken costume.

Oh well, I'm sure whoever wins this season will be a "safe" representation of the drag community. And you can see how it played out last season as Nina Flowers was too obscure, Ongina was too androgynous, and Tammie Brown was too kooky. And this year is no different - the queen who wins will not doubt be gorgeous, but one dimensional. Shit, you know what I'm ready for? A Trannyshack Drag Race! Now that would be something.

Tea Bagged

Oh my.



Can I just say that I love Jaime Pressly? Love, love, love her!

Homophobiabowl!

Yup, it's that time of the year. Strap on your douchebag wear, grab a Bud Light, a handful of Walmart brand chips, and jump in front of your buddy's big screen television to watch the frenzy unfold.

I will be at home, watching the Super Bowl in increments. I'm not a huge fan of American football, but I do enjoy watching the SB. I will admit, it's exciting, and I love how America gets all worked up over this. It's basically middle America's orgasm. The over-hyped commercials are just the lube working the shaft.

I can say that the Super Bowl to me is equivalent to my days in high school where I would only go to the football games for: (a) social interaction; (b) when we played our school rival Pueblo *hack*; (c) homecoming. Ah, the memories.

And speaking of all this SB hysteria, that rejected commercial for ManCrunch.com was already done a few years ago, and way better I must say, by the geniuses at MadTV:



Ok, it's almost time for kick-off. I must begin the consumption of Dr. Pepper, chicken wings, and salad. Yes, I said salad. A girl has to watch her figure!

Straight Acting

I'm all about diversity. And I'm all about the gay agenda sinking it's vampire-like teeth into middle America. But if we, the gays, are going to do it, then let's do it with an ad that doesn't look like it was filmed in my living room over the course of 12 minutes.



What is with this commercial? Ok, I know homophobic CBS rejected it, but as numerous late night talk shows have joked... was all the money pumped into the purchase of air time? The look of the set is very "bad porn". And not the good "bad porn", but the bad "bad porn". You know what I'm talking about. One word for this: sad.

Shat Down!

I have to admit that I am currently obssessed with Seattle tranimal Dina Martina. I just can't shake her out of my head. After seeing her this weekend in her LA debut at the Cavern Club Celebrity Theatre, I continue to ask myself "what is in the water up there?" From queens like Jackie Hell and Urusual Android, I want to import gallons of h20 from the northwest!

Don't believe me? Check out this vid of her from Wigstock 2005...



Best. Quote. Ever. ---> "Chickens in a biscuit... they're my favorite! Nummers."

Wiping The Dust Away

Just popping in. I've been kind of busy since the New Year has begun. Yes, it's true. Tucson, then Jer Ber Jones Birthday Cabaret, Dragstrip66's Finale (insanity!), and numerous other events that has kept me away from disciplining myself to do this. Excuses! See previous post: The Excorism Of Whiplash Lopenski. Ok, now time to get ready for yet another event...

My Love To You TwentyTen

Oh, less than two years until the world is kaput - according to my Mayan ancestors that is. I guess it's time to begin the constant mixture of alcohol, drugs and sex! Har.

I am the only one up right at this moment. Woods is passed out drunk on the bed, RA is passed out drunk on the futon, and moi is online trolling the craigslist M4M ads and creating this post. Lovely why to start out 2010, dontyathink?