Pelotas Azules

So I have returned from being out this evening. Tonight was not the usual night filled with club hopping and socializing. Instead, I spend my Saturday night at a sex party. I attend these sex parties every few months. It's an exclusive club, but not the bullshit kind of exclusive you might think. There is a purpose for the exclusivity. It's quite nice actually, because of the selection process the parties are loads of fun and "hot" (the generic form of the word), as well as well planned and managed.

Anyhow, the night was rather lackluster on my part. Sure the sex that was happening was "hot" (generic form again), but it was one of those evenings where my game was non-existent. The guys I were into didn't seem to be into me, and when it did seem as if a guy I was into was about to make a move (or vice versa) it just fizzled out. In this type of situation, timing is to blame. I'm not frustrated by any means as these scenarios present themselves ever so often so I'm sure the next party will make up for this one. At least the party allowed me the opportunity to see a few of my "acquaintances" there, as well as having some of those "hot" visuals permanently burned into my mind.

Now the best part of the night was the post-party shenanigans. Woods and I ventured to one of the Hollywood Denny's for some junk food - you know... fried cheese sticks, hot wings, onion rings, ice cream shakes, soda pop. Yum. Well little did I know the meal would come with first class entertainment. You see, the clubs had just let out so the restaurant was crawling with classy nightlife patrons all decked out in their new Sean John digs, Hollywood hooker styled stripper heels, and freshly styled weaves. Cute. The whole restaurant was like a South 36th fashion show. South 36th is a reference for my Tucson peeps.

Well across from our table was this small group led by this amazonian female who was rather loudly blunt with her feelings about this and that. Oh, I can tell you that she kept me in stitches with her ghetto lingo and one liners. Here are a few that I can muster up from my memory...

"If you throw some money on the floor, she'd strip for you"

"Sir... sir... sir... I need to tell you that woman was horrible. I wanted to slap the hell out of her. She made my experience here very unpleasant"

"Edith was the shit, but that other girl... I almost slapped her face"

Now you may think to yourself "Whip, how is that classic?" Well, I guess it's one of those situations where you had to be there. Her delivery shouting those lines were remarkable. Lady Amazon could work the hell out of those words. But I will say that the line that leaped out into the Drunken Ghetto Comment Hall Of Fame was this little ditty...

*drumroll*

"If she don't take my order soon, I'm gonna take off my panties and piss on the floor!"

Now how could you not love that. I had to hold my Dr. Pepper in my mouth otherwise I would have spit it out all over Woods who was sitting quietly across from me.

Oh, how I wish BJ, Raya, Alaska, Crystal, Rapunzel, Sims, MommaT, or any one of my other crazy crew members had been there to share those moments with me. They would have ate it up. I guess I will have to hope for a repeat performance as I plan to take those bitches to that Denny's the next time we are out on the town. Good times await!

At least the night ended on a high note as my balls are a shade of blue I never seen. Lovely.