Last night's post was definitely a prelude to my mood for the majority of today. I was feeling quite depressed. It was one of those feelings that you kind of know that it's happening, but in full denial of it. The definite signs of me living on the low end are sleep deprivation, subconsciously intended starvation, disinterest in sex/masturbation, and isolation. And I was serving all of it, honey!
But now I am viewing this day in a whole new light. A rebirthing if you will. I decided that I would set easily obtainable goals for myself in hopes that I can, I mean will, complete them. I want to take baby steps. And when I finish them, I will more than likely find the inspiration in it. I soon then will become a cheerleader.
I do have to credit my love of music to get me through to the other side when I get into these scenarios. Listening to "You Got The Love" by The Source Featuring Candi Staton really pushed me over the edge into clarity. I remember tuning myself into this classic dance song many years ago back in San Diego when I would get all beat down about my then living situation. It had the effect to open my eyes and see passed all the bullshit. And I'm happy to report, it's still working it's magic today.
So now I am going to take a disco nap so I can possibly go out to a show this evening. Then I can return home for a nightcap, only to add a dose of my nightly ritual, then a good heaping of sleep. This boy needs it. I want to start tomorrow on a brand spanking new vibe. All I can say to that is: Go Girl!
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