The day was a complete waste. A total shitcake. I should have expected this much when I completed the last entry earlier today. My stomach is in knots at the moment. As well harbouring a migraine - the third this week. Sigh.
Everything lately seems to be magically maturing into a big heaping load of filth. No matter how much I attempt to work on something, it just feels as if the energy spent is returning to me ten fold only negatively. I am totally stumped as where I should go from here. I just want to crawl into a dark space to be alone with my insane thoughts.
I could assume this is some sort of depression, but I've been analyzing this in my mind all afternoon and I'm sure I am not depressed. At least not yet. I have been depressed in the past, and it was nothing like this. Currently, I am frustrated, upset, somber. To be honest, I am on the brink of tears. And it's just making grow more foul by the minute.
What to do? What to do?
I was going to salvage the remainder of the day by going to work out, but that was throw out by some unstable rationale. I think at this point, I will make my way back to the couch, turn on the television and count the minutes until I fall back to sleep. Hopefully I will awaken in a state of eagerness as it will be a new day, and yet again, attempting to start anew.
I'm hoping this will pick up at some point because this starting over again thing is waring thin on my psyche. I'm over it.
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